Woman Is No Man, A: A Read with Jenna Pick

A Goodreads Choice Awards Finalist for Best Fiction and Best Debut • BookBrowse's Best Book of the Year • A Marie Claire Best Women's Fiction of the Year • A Real Simple Best Book of the Year • A PopSugar Best Book of the Year • A New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice • A Washington Post 10 Books to Read in March • A Newsweek Best Book of the Summer • A USA Today Best Book of the Week • A Washington Book Review Difficult-To-Put-Down Novel • A Refinery 29 Best Books of the Month • A Buzzfeed News 4 Books We Couldn't Put Down Last Month • A New Arab Best Books by Arab Authors • An Electric Lit 20 Best Debuts of the First Half of 2019 • A The Millions Most Anticipated Books of the Year

“Garnering justified comparisons to Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns... Etaf Rum’s debut novel is a must-read about women mustering up the bravery to follow their inner voice.” —Refinery 29

The New York Times bestseller and Read with Jenna TODAY SHOW Book Club pick telling the story of three generations of Palestinian-American women in a gripping family saga, each struggling to express their individual desires within the confines of their Arab culture in the wake of shocking intimate violence in their community.

"Where I come from, we’ve learned to silence ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence will save us. Where I come from, we keep these stories to ourselves. To tell them to the outside world is unheard of—dangerous, the ultimate shame.”

Palestine, 1990. Seventeen-year-old Isra prefers reading books to entertaining the suitors her father has chosen for her. Over the course of a week, the naïve and dreamy girl finds herself quickly betrothed and married, and is soon living in Brooklyn. There Isra struggles to adapt to the expectations of her oppressive mother-in-law Fareeda and strange new husband Adam, a pressure that intensifies as she begins to have children—four daughters instead of the sons Fareeda tells Isra she must bear.

Brooklyn, 2008. In a poignant coming of age story, eighteen-year-old Deya, Isra’s oldest daughter, must meet with potential husbands at her grandmother Fareeda’s insistence, though her only desire is to go to college. Deya can’t help but wonder if her options would have been different had her parents survived the car crash that killed them when Deya was only eight. But her grandmother is firm on the matter: the only way to secure a worthy future for Deya is through marriage to the right man.

But fate has a will of its own, and soon Deya will find herself on an unexpected path that leads her to shocking truths and long-buried family secrets—knowledge that will force her to question everything she thought she knew about her parents, the past, and her own future.

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Published Mar 5, 2019

363 pages

Average rating: 7.95

708 RATINGS

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Community Reviews

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thenextgoodbook

Sep 04, 2025

10/10 stars

thenextgoodbook.com
A Woman is No Man by Etaf Rum
337 pages

What’s it about?
Isra is just 17 years-old in 1990 and living in Palestine when her marriage is arranged to Adam. She leaves everything she knows and moves to America. Traveling back in forth in time from Isla to her daughter Deya in 2008 we see how the conservative Palestinian culture is surviving in America. This novel chronicles what life is like for many Palestinian women. Their lives are almost incomprehensible to me. What an eye-opening novel. I can not imagine it has been well received by the conservative Palestinian community.

What did it make me think about?
Yes people another sad story. But what a story...

Should I read it?
This novel had really well-drawn out characters and kept me interested from cover to cover. Etaf Rum is a beautiful writer. It is hard to believe this is her first book. I can not wait to see what she writes next. Having said that- I must add that the story was really disturbing. The women are so oppressed in this culture! This is happening in Brooklyn as we sit here? Rum hints that this way of life is damaging to the men in the culture as well. What a book!

Quote-
" 'Love each other? What does love have to do with marriage? You think your father and I love each other?'
Isra's eyes shifted to the ground. 'I thought you must a little.'
Mama sighed, 'Soon you'll learn that there's no room for love in a woman's life. There's only one thing you'll need, and that's sabr, patience.'

If you like this try-
Mornings in Jenin by Susan Abulhawa
A Place For Us by Fatima Farheer Mirza
Dominicana by Angie Cruz
Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie

MED

Mar 16, 2022

10/10 stars

Wow. Such a deep, powerful read. I'm glad I read it.

aehd1016

Mar 12, 2022

7/10 stars

I really enjoyed this story following three generations of women who had immigrated to America. Seeing their struggles not only as immigrants but also as women was an eye opening reminder of my own privilege.

IronQueen

Jan 19, 2024

10/10 stars

This hit way too close to home. Ezra is close to my age and her major life events happened around my own. There is freedom in breaking the cycle and it takes women to do it. Once I sat on the “male” side of church in an Orthodox country with my husband, whom I later risked my life and my son’s to escape. Did the men say a word? No. It was the women who interrupted the service to physically and painfully drag me to the women’s side. I learned that day that when a people group is sufficiently oppressed, the more powerful people group don’t need to enforce- it is enforced by the “culture” of the oppressed. This book made me cry for my dear and darling MIL. The brave, wonderful lady who dared to break the cycle of abuse by bringing me kindness and protection within the community. RIP momma Ps - the woman who escaped after my successful escape was murdered by her husband. Be kind to cultures unknown. There are battles faced beyond understanding ❤️

ankit

May 19, 2023

7/10 stars

"A Woman Is No Man" by Etaf Rum is a powerful and thought-provoking novel that explores the experiences of three generations of Palestinian women living in America. Selected as a Read with Jenna book pick, this novel tackles themes of tradition, identity, and the struggle for independence. The story primarily follows the lives of Isra, a young woman forced into an arranged marriage, and her daughter Deya, who grapples with the expectations and restrictions placed upon her as a young woman in her conservative community. Through their narratives, the author sheds light on the oppressive nature of cultural traditions and the weight of familial expectations. Rum's writing is compelling and emotionally charged, delving into the complexities of the characters' lives and the intergenerational trauma they endure. The novel also raises important questions about gender roles, the clash of cultures, and the impact of silence and secrets within families. The portrayal of the characters is nuanced and multidimensional, making them relatable and sympathetic. Readers will find themselves invested in the struggles and aspirations of Isra, Deya, and the other women in the story. The author skillfully weaves together past and present, creating a narrative that reveals the connections and consequences of choices made across generations. One of the strengths of "A Woman Is No Man" is its exploration of the power of education and literacy as a catalyst for change and empowerment. The novel highlights the transformative potential of knowledge and the desire for self-determination in the face of cultural and societal expectations. However, some readers may find the book's pacing to be slow at times, as it focuses more on the characters' inner lives and emotions rather than fast-paced plot developments. Additionally, the novel tackles sensitive topics such as domestic violence and oppression, which may be triggering for some readers. Overall, "A Woman Is No Man" is a poignant and significant novel that sheds light on the experiences of immigrant women and the complexities of their lives. It provides a window into a culture often underrepresented in literature and encourages conversations about gender, culture, and the pursuit of personal freedom.