How to Win Friends and Influence People
BUY THE BOOK
Community Reviews
Filled with a lot of tips that seem obvious like 'listen to people', 'use names' and smile. The author gives color and strength around these tips. Pretty cool tips, made me think more deliberately about my interactions with people - from close friends to strangers.
Not Review, Personal notes
Be Considerate of others, value the view of the other side when trying to influence
Criticizing people does not work to get them to come around, neither does complaining
Everyone wants to feel important and appreciated
Sincerity is the most valuable component of persuasion
The best way to get someone to do something is to get them to want to do it, that is also the only way to get them to do something
Show Interest in others, talk more about what they like than what you like
Be a selfless conversationalist, people care more about themselves and their own interests than your own
Evoke a sincere interest in the other person
Smiling is a way to open doors
Remember peoples names, names are important
A persons name is their favorite word
Encourage other people to talk about themselves
Talk in terms of others interests
Help others to feel important
Genuine interest, friendly demeanor, remembering the name, good listening, talk about their interests, sincerely make them feel important
You can't win and argument, no one wins arguments. The objective is to get the other person around to your side of thinking. Arguing always makes the gulf wider and them more set in their resolve
Avoid argument at all cost
Respect others opinions, never call them out or say they are wrong. Understand where they are coming from. Sincere understanding
Admit when you are wrong, take the wind out of other peoples sails
Begin in a friendly way, get someone saying yes, yes immediately. Do not get no's
Let other people do most of the talking
Let other people take credit for idea, get them to believe they were vital parts of the process
See things from others point of view
Be sympathetic with others ideas and desires
Appeal to nobler intentions
Dramatize your ideas
Challenge others, provoke competition to favor everyone
When finding faults or criticizing, begin with honest appreciation and praise
Indirectly call to their mistakes
Feel free to also talk about your own mistakes as well
Ask questions, no one likes direct orders
Help people save face
Give encouragement
Give them a good name, a good reputation to live up to that they want to continue to emulate
Make problems and faults seem like small easy corrections, continue to give praise
Try and get people happy to follow suggestions
In the end this book has taught that the idea is not to strong arm or mind fuck people into your way of thinking or doing what you want. Bullying is ineffective and will lead to people hating you. Genuine interest and gratitude in other people is the key to the bottom line. The bottom line must always be identified, be it making a sale, keeping a contract, fixing errors, improving an employee, ect. The approach that gets people eager to improve or see your way of thinking is the one that wins. So be sincere and genuine and take interest in others. Be selfless and tactful.
Be Considerate of others, value the view of the other side when trying to influence
Criticizing people does not work to get them to come around, neither does complaining
Everyone wants to feel important and appreciated
Sincerity is the most valuable component of persuasion
The best way to get someone to do something is to get them to want to do it, that is also the only way to get them to do something
Show Interest in others, talk more about what they like than what you like
Be a selfless conversationalist, people care more about themselves and their own interests than your own
Evoke a sincere interest in the other person
Smiling is a way to open doors
Remember peoples names, names are important
A persons name is their favorite word
Encourage other people to talk about themselves
Talk in terms of others interests
Help others to feel important
Genuine interest, friendly demeanor, remembering the name, good listening, talk about their interests, sincerely make them feel important
You can't win and argument, no one wins arguments. The objective is to get the other person around to your side of thinking. Arguing always makes the gulf wider and them more set in their resolve
Avoid argument at all cost
Respect others opinions, never call them out or say they are wrong. Understand where they are coming from. Sincere understanding
Admit when you are wrong, take the wind out of other peoples sails
Begin in a friendly way, get someone saying yes, yes immediately. Do not get no's
Let other people do most of the talking
Let other people take credit for idea, get them to believe they were vital parts of the process
See things from others point of view
Be sympathetic with others ideas and desires
Appeal to nobler intentions
Dramatize your ideas
Challenge others, provoke competition to favor everyone
When finding faults or criticizing, begin with honest appreciation and praise
Indirectly call to their mistakes
Feel free to also talk about your own mistakes as well
Ask questions, no one likes direct orders
Help people save face
Give encouragement
Give them a good name, a good reputation to live up to that they want to continue to emulate
Make problems and faults seem like small easy corrections, continue to give praise
Try and get people happy to follow suggestions
In the end this book has taught that the idea is not to strong arm or mind fuck people into your way of thinking or doing what you want. Bullying is ineffective and will lead to people hating you. Genuine interest and gratitude in other people is the key to the bottom line. The bottom line must always be identified, be it making a sale, keeping a contract, fixing errors, improving an employee, ect. The approach that gets people eager to improve or see your way of thinking is the one that wins. So be sincere and genuine and take interest in others. Be selfless and tactful.
I can definitely see why this is used as a timeless classic for building people skills. It uses relatable and easy reference examples to interpersonal relationship and communition skills. The author is good with setting the example, learning the lesson and giving the major take away. It is very motivational and easy to follow.
I avoided this book for a while despite numerous recommendations because I have friends and I wasn't particularly interested in manipulating people. However, I read a particularly good recommendation recently in another book and I decided to bite the bullet and read it.
Rather than being morally dubious as I suspected, I think the book gave a lot of good advice on how best to be a kind, considerate, thoughtful human being. Yes, it also gave advice on how to convince other people of your point, but I think mostly by following some of the same advice regarding showing other people respect.
Rather than being morally dubious as I suspected, I think the book gave a lot of good advice on how best to be a kind, considerate, thoughtful human being. Yes, it also gave advice on how to convince other people of your point, but I think mostly by following some of the same advice regarding showing other people respect.
This book's title is self explanatory. It gives a list of principles that you should abide by to build and improve your relationship and relationship skills. Lots of the stories shared are quite dated, but I could relate to them even in the year 2019.
Some might call this book a waste of time as the principles could be summarized on a single page. The stories helped me understand them much more though and made them stick more.
Some might call this book a waste of time as the principles could be summarized on a single page. The stories helped me understand them much more though and made them stick more.
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