Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think

I have very strong negative feelings for this author. I thought he cheerfully missed the point of parenthood and hid his feelings behind myopic studies that isolate some surprising conclusions, but wind up being narrow reflections that not only miss the magic of human life but describe a sepia world in which it isn’t even possible. And he then engages in practices that talk down to the reader, like writing a debate in which he argues with those who disagree with him and wins. I can seldom remember putting a book down so frequently because I found the author to be annoying. I didn’t feel upset reading this book. Just unmotivated to plow thru the prose.

But I finished it.

And his core conclusions feel right to me. We do spend more time on our kids than we need to, in order to meet social conventions that help neither us nor our kids. We can probably have more kids and do less with each and that would be a better outcome. Parenting is probably less influential than we think it is. We ought to be comfortable that we treated our children with kindness, respect and gave them a childhood that they remember fondly.

I’ll probably have another kid. So the book may have been impactful, but I’m not sure this made a difference.

Three stars. It’s a deeply human message wrapped in one of the most unpalatable coatings I’ve ever read. Try a new editor?