Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
This international bestseller, with more than 3 million copies sold, offers a field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations--whether in the boardroom, in your community, or at home.
Life is a series of negotiations, and negotiation is at the heart of collaboration--whether you are a business executive, a salesperson, a parent, a community leader, or a spouse. As a former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss gives you the tools to be effective in any situation: negotiating a business deal, buying (or selling) a car, negotiating a salary, acquiring a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner, or communicating with your children. Taking the power of persuasion, empathy, active listening, and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any difficult conversation or challenging situation. This book is a masterclass in influencing others, no matter the circumstances.
After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI's lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference distills the Voss method, revealing the skills that matter most when it comes to achieving your goals in both your professional and personal life.
Step-by-step, Voss show you how to:
- Establish Rapport Create Trust with Tactical EmpathyGain the Permission to Persuade Shape What Is Fair Calibrate QuestionsTransform Conflict into CollaborationSpot LiarsCreate Breakthroughs by Revealing the Unknown Unknowns
Never Split the Difference is your definitive source for defusing potential crises, winning people over, and achieving your goals at work and at home.
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Mirroring
Mirroring is simply repeating the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said.
Label their emotions
What labeling means is saying something like “it seems like...”, “it looks like..”, “it sounds like..”. And when you label and mirror, take a pause and let it sink in.
Beware “Yes”, Master “No”
The goal of a negotiation is to get “Yes” at the end not at the start because a “No” starts a negotiation. When you get others to say “Yes” from the starting again and again, they feel kind of trapped and will eventually say “No” at the end.
Trigger a “That’s Right” response
These two words can do wonders for you in a negotiation. Getting this response shows that both of you understand what you are talking about.
Calibrate your questions
What about this is important to you?
How can I help to make this better for us?
How would you like me to proceed?
What is it that brought us into this situation?
How can we solve this problem?
How am I supposed to do that?
Bargain Hard - Ackerman Bargaining.
This easy to remember process has the following steps:
Set you target price (your goal).
Set your first offer at 65 percent of your target price.
Calculate three raises of decreasing increments (to 85, 95, and 100 percent).
Use lots of empathy and different ways of saying “No” to get the other side to counter before you increase your offer.
When calculating the final amount, use precise, non-round numbers like, say, $37,893 rather than $38,000. It gives the number credibility and weight.
On your final number, throw in a non-monetary item (that they probably don’t want) to show you’re at your limit.
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