Martyr!: A novel

There was a lot going on in this book, but I appreciated the backstory on the main character and his family. The last 3-4 chapters, I believe, were so enticing that I couldn't stop listening! I had an inkling about the plot twist, but my mouth was still on the floor when I learned I was right.

Loved this book! So many sentences in here I want to save, and savor, and cry that I couldn't put words together like that. Pure genius.

Cyrus Shams is an Iranian American who grew up in Indiana with his father. When he was just a few months old and they were still living in Iran, his mother was on a plane that was shot down in a supposed accident by the American military. His grief-stricken father packs him up and starts a new life in America.

Cyrus grows up in the shadows of this loss and grief and even as a child has trouble sleeping and issues of depression. He is a poet and a writer but also an alcoholic and addict, in recovery. Again. He is searching for the meaning of life. He learns about an artist who is putting on her final show at Brooklyn Museum. She is dying, and she's going to share her dying with museum visitors. He decides he needs to go and meet her. He is inspired to write about martyrs, who have made a meaning of their life through death. He meets the artist, Orkideh, and she seemingly wants to talk to him longer than other visitors, asks him to come back. He comes back every day and is at once inspired and deflated by her.

Incredibly beautiful and heartbreaking, but also at times funny and entertaining. A masterpiece.

Kaveh Akbar’s Martyr! feels like sitting inside someone’s spiraling mind with no exit in sight. Cyrus Shams is messy, self-destructive, an addict in recovery, emotionally reckless, and constantly getting in his own way. His inner monologue is heavy with anxiety and self-sabotage. I suspect that it is intentional that Cyrus is difficult to like. He is not a character you root for. He is a character you study, question, and sometimes want to shake. Then his mother enters the picture and the heartbreak deepens. She is supposed to be dead. Instead, Cyrus finds her alive in New York and living as an artist. She chooses not to tell him who she is. Not once. Not even when he sits next to her and shares his depression. I could not forgive that choice. I understand the pressure she may have faced and the desire to escape a life that never felt like hers. I do not understand seeing your child as an adult and choosing silence. His mother's selfish decisions anchors the emotional trauma of the book. Cyrus’ self-destructive spiral once he uncovers the truth feels inevitable. Cyrus wrestles with self-worth and becomes consumed by the idea of martyrdom. His research turns into a personal metric and a way to measure whether his life has mattered. If meaning comes from impact, then where does that leave him? That question shadows every decision he makes and he tries to be better. His moments of clarity unfortunately never hold. This is a reflection of the grip unhealed trauma has on his adult life. Akbar’s writing is striking. His background as a poet is clear in the rhythm and care of each sentence. Lines carry a lyrical quality. The pieces of poetry woven throughout heighten the emotional weight. The prose remains compelling even when the subject matter is difficult. The audiobook adds depth to the experience. The narrator captures Cyrus’ mental state with precision and pulls you deeper into his perspective. The internal monologue feels intense and unrelenting. The shifts in accent and tone reflect Cyrus’ fractured sense of identity, especially around language and an identity he lost growing up in America. The ending did not work for me. It stays open and leaves the reader to decide what is real. My mind went in two directions. Either Cyrus dies and moves into some version of an afterlife, or he slips into a hallucination. Neither option offers a happy ending closure. It aligns with the tone of the book, but it left me frustrated after everything he endures. I just wanted a win for Cyrus! This is a heavy and introspective read that explores grief, identity, addiction, and the long shadow of childhood trauma. It will not appeal to every reader. It does offer a thought-provoking experience for those willing to engage with its questions.

It was heavy and beautiful and funny at times - I’m sad to put this one down but already looking forward to rereading it

insane. i wish i could sit in this book forever and carefully consume every word over and over. genuinely insane.