Community Reviews
Alrighty then. Not often does this happen, but the need to give reviews as the come is feeling strong with this one. Perhaps it's the ample amount of WTF moments I've already encountered prior to page TWENTY (FFS), but I have a feeling this is going to be a bumpy ride. Here goes. I am going to, as I read, write down all the things about this book that don't make sense, are stupid, are nonsensical, or just downright bother me. Let's get started, shall we?
PART ONE
ACT ONE
Act 1, Scenes 1 & 2: Okay, this is just rehashing the epilogue from Book 7, therefore this is fine and cute. However, can't forgive the stage direction: "His hand is empty. It's a lame trick. Everyone enjoys its lameness". *shudder*
Act 1, Scene 3: Wow okay we are shoehorning in information. And really WTF information as well. Yeah, let's just jump right in to the whole "my parents were Death Eaters," and "Voldemort may be my dad". Also, how cute would Scorpius and Albus be romantically? Answer: so cute.
Act 1, Scene 4: DRACO HAS A PONYTAIL??? EWWWWWWWW. Also, poor Albus. I can totally see how not being the perfect replica of your uber-famous dad would be hard. This weird thing Scorpius has for Rose is weird. Repression, mayhaps? Um, and now Scorpius's mom is suddenly dead? Poor lady got no stage time!
Act 1, Scene 5: Dude, Harry was always terrible at homework. Why the hell would they put him in a position where paperwork and homework are practically the number 1, most important feature? Jesus, the whole wizarding world could go to shit because Potter doesn't finish his homework! There is also a really weird emphasis on candy and particularly candy as a forbidden item. This from the same kid who bought the whole trolley cart for him and Ron their first year?
Act 1, Scene 6: Amos Diggory takin' some cheap shots. Didn't think Amos would be like this.
Act 1, Scene 7: Why on EARTH would Harry give JAMES his cloak this early? Dude needs to keep it! My my but that was an uncomfortable scene between father and son. I wonder if Harry would have been like this with his own parents, had they lived. He certainly was a grumpus to his friends when he was 14 and 15.
Act 1, Scene 8: WTF was that? This whole thing is just too weird. I'll be excited for when something makes sense.
Act 1, Scene 10: Now I'm really confused. I thought Harry found a Time-Turner when Albus was in Year Two, and now it's Year Four and there's a rumor he found it now? Huh? Also, this scene is just further proof that teenagers should be given enough room to make mistakes BUT NOT ONES THIS BIG. Dude, climbing out of the window? How does that even work? I've seen the windows on the Hogwarts Express (duh) and they're not climb-outtable. They're too high up and too small to get through. How is this even working? And why are they going upwards? That's the dumbest idea yet? And also, it sounds like the Trolley Witch is talking right to them, so then why the HECK doesn't she stop them from going out the window?
Act 1, Scene 11: Wait, now the Trolley Witch is turning Pumpkin Pasties into GRENADES and throwing them at the two boys? And saying that Sirius Black's cronies were Fred and George Weasley? You do know that to be a crony you have to be CONTEMPORANEOUS, right? Yeah, nope. I'm not buying it.
Act 1, Scene 12: Okay, first of all, what are so many people doing at this meeting? Shouldn't Professor McGonagall be at Hogwarts? Why is Draco there, he's not involved with the government, is he? Is the wizarding community THAT SMALL that it's only the twenty people key to the real books? (I was going to say "original" but that would then lump this travesty of a book into the canon, something which I'm not willing to do.)
Act 1, Scene 13: I don't believe that an old magic folk's home would be fun. I am only imagining wizards and witches too sick to have control of their powers and ones with dementia or Alzheimer's who know not what they do.
Act 1, Scene 14: Doesn't "overhear" by definition imply that it wasn't supposed to happen? "Voldemort" isn't the family name, yo. The family name is "Riddle," "Voldemort" is his stage name, like Madonna or Cher or Prince. I am really enjoying the healthy skepticism of Scorpius Malfoy. I'm just seeing Tom Felton as Julian Albert in Season 3 of the Flash, interjecting objections and, dare I say it, sense into their flights of fantasy.
Act 1, Scene 15: At least Ron's still marginally funny.
Act 1, Scene 16: I don't remember Polyjuice Potion being so painful. How much time has passed? Where did they get the Polyjuice potion? How did they get the hairs? This all seems waaaaaaaaay too convenient.
Act 1, Scene 18: ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT HERMIONE GODDAMN GRANGER WOULD ALLOW SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS AN ALOHOMORA CHARM TO WORK ON HER OFFICE DOOR?? HERMIONE???? Utter disbelief. She would never. How dare you. This is an insult to her whole character. Ew! And then nephew kisses aunt???? That was completely unnecessary. Oh I'm so grossed out. "Let's have another baby"?????? WHO APPROVED THIS BULLSHIT?????
ACT TWO
Act 2, Scene 3: Ron wouldn't get a snack before coming to look for his nephew and help out his best friend. He just wouldn't. Cheap joke for laughs. Also, am I supposed to believe that just anybody can go to the Headmistress's office and also through the Floo network? I really really really don't believe Hogwarts would be attached to the Floo network. Just because there are chimneys doesn't mean that it would be possible. Hasn't anyone on this writing team read Hogwarts, A History?
Act 2, Scene 4: "These two [Albus and Delphi] are getting on really well now." She's in her TWENTIES and he's FOURTEEN. Again, ew.
Act 2, Scene 5: Also, am I to believe that Bane issues Harry a prophecy and then just rides away without resolving the whole "Harry is trespassing in the Forbidden Forest" thing? Unlikely.
Act 2, Scene 6: If they don't really "math" in the wizarding world, how come Scorpius uses the phrase "to the nth degree"? It's a math term. He also used the phrase, "No way, Jose". Do the Brits even use that phrase?
Act 2, Scene 7: The... what do I call it?... stage directions are terrible. "(His words, not ours)" and "he's...well...having a ball" fill me with bile, specifically back up my esophagus. Next, why is Hermione sitting right by the Durmstrang section? Where's Ron? Why are they even talking to her? They have literally done no prep work for this bizarre mission to the past, have no genuine thought behind it... They are going to royally screw this up. This is bothering me, though. They want to go to the past to save Cedric Diggory because he died as an innocent casualty of the lead-up to the Second Wizarding War. Do they even know how many innocent people died because of Voldemort? Are they going to help Bathilda Bagshot? Are they going to help that poor Muggle studies teacher? Are they going to help Colin Creevey? NO, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THEY'RE DOING OR WHY. Ugh. Therefore, I have no emotional investment into their actions. I'm just annoyed.
Act 2, Scene 8: Oh good lord, Harry being all awful. "I need you to stay away from Scorpius," "you'll stay in the Gryffindor common room because that's your heritage," jeez louise does Harry ever make huge mistakes. Ah, well, it's for plot, presumably? I don't think I believe that but still.
Act 2, Scene 9: Oh, I see. Albus is in Gryffindor because it's a different timeline. Huh. Thrilling. Sigh, Scorpius and Albus are totally a thing.
Act 2, Scene 10: Okay, as a teacher, can confirm that McGonagall has many, many better things to do that keep an eye on the Marauder's Map at all times and make sure Albus and Scorpius aren't hanging out. And I'm sure she's pretty pissed she has to and I bet you a character-accurate McGonagall would be like, "Aw hello no, Potter, let's let them make their own mistakes".
Act 2, Scene 11: Why wouldn't he call her "Aunt Hermione"? What's up with all this weird first-name calling of aunts and uncles business? It feels way too weird to call my aunts and uncles just by their first names.
Act 2, Scene 13: You know, all of this weird birther stuff about Scorpius could be cleared up with, oh, I don't know, A DNA TEST? I really vote there should be someone in the Ministry of Magic who keeps up on Muggle stuff just so that when a situation like this arises, they can be like, "Oh, the Muggles have an ingenious science thing just for this situation!"
Act 2, Scene 16: I still ship it. But! I sincerely doubt Albus could come up with a plan to fix things and I also seriously doubt that "humiliation" is a good way to go. I can't see this working out at all.
Act 2, Scene 18: There's just no subtlety here. Maybe a skilled actor could bring some subtlety, but in the actual words of the script, it feels childishly simple. I'm wrong, sorry. Oh, okay! Let's work together now! Dum de dum de dum! *Everyone dances off into the distance*
Act 2, Scene 19: "Myrtle Elizabeth Warren"? Really? I like Elizabeth Warren immensely, myself, but this just feels obnoxious. Apparently, Rowling has said, "Elizabeth is just one of those sturdy British middle names" but doughnuts to dollars it has to do with Elizabeth Warren and it feels shoehorned and awful.
Act 2, Scene 20: Voldemort Day? Really? That's what you think happens after Voldemort becomes the ruler of the British Wizarding World? How lame. (Everyone enjoys its lameness.)
PART TWO
ACT THREE
Act 3, Scene 2: Oh jeez, they're just hamming up this Voldy stuff, aren't they?
Act 3, Scene 5: Oh for Christ's sake, Snape?
Act 3, Scene 7: Well, at least Neville's getting his due for how important he was. I am very sick of the use of the word "discombobulated". Just because it's fancy doesn't mean there aren't other words for "confused". "I didn't just quote Dumbledore, did I?" "I'm pretty sure that's pure Severus Snape". How are they able to so quickly decide to just kill Snape? And Snape's like, "sure thing, guys, I'm such a good guy but I don't like quoting Dumbledore!" Pffffft.
Act 3, Scene 9: "Ron, I love you and I always have." Really? I hope this was done better in the actual play. Because it's horrible right now, right here, in the book. Oh look, it's Dolores Umbridge! How about we give up the game as soon as she asks, hmmm? Sigh. And how does Scorpius know that Lily's patronus is a doe unless he's a huge creeper? What, are the HP books history books or some nonsense? "Thank you for being my light in the darkness"??? Now I know this was written by teenage girls. "Scorpius, have you been eating too many sweets again?" What IS this, a campaign for Brussels sprouts?
Act 3, Scene 10: "You kept a Time Turner in your bookcase. It's almost laughable!" Yes, yes it is laughable. Therein lies the problem of this book.
Act 3, Scene 11: "Thanks for letting me come up [to your room]". Up? Up? Doesn't EVERYONE know the Slytherin dorm is in the dungeon?
Act 3, Scene 14: Oh, yes, little boys, it's definitely a good idea to try and destroy the time turner yourselves. Bravo.
Act 3, Scene 15: Whoa, Ginny can't forgive Harry possibly? What? That's not how a marriage works, man.
Act 3, Scene 16: Wow, Albus is like extra dumb. Oh! So much wand snapping!
Act 3, Scene 20: Second time the word "fulsome" has been used. It's a weird word. It was weird to hear it come out of the mouth of a 14-year-old boy and it's weird here.
Act 3, Scene 21: Of course Voldemort had a daughter. Blech. Can you even imagine that? That sounds like the grossest, worst thing imaginable.
ACT FOUR
Act 4, Scene 1: "It doesn't make your negligence negligible." REALLY? That's a terrible turn of phrase. That's the kind of phrase that sets the skin crawling. "This is almost a Spartacus moment." Excuse me, it can get worse. Literally on the next line.
Act 4, Scene 2: So, apparently bad girl baby Voldemort is all like, "I'll go kill Harry Potter before Voldemort and then he won't get a chance to kill Voldemort." Dude... NEVILLE. Everyone knows (seriously, this is a big topic of conversation, here) that Neville could have fulfilled the prophecy, too. If Voldemort gets to Godric's Hollow and finds Harry already dead, I'm SURE someone will point out that it could also be Neville. I'm sure the only reason Voldy-woldy didn't investigate Neville too was because he was, oh, I don't know, deadish. But she won't change the fact that Neville can destroy the Dark Lord too.
Act 4, Scene 4: Okay, I kind of ship Drarry, too...
Act 4, Scene 10: Albus suggests he whip up a Polyjuice Potion so that they can transform into Voldemort. They mention that they haven't got a bit of Voldemort to put in the polyjuice potion, but they neglect to mention that it takes the potion quite a while to stew. You literally can't whip up a Polyjuice potion. Then, Ron refers to himself as "the chillest"? Dude, what? OH, but of course, it HAS to be Harry (actually, he puts forth a few solid reasons, but still. Feels cliched).
Act 4, Scene 12: Nope. It's weird that they watched Harry's parents die. I was weirded out by that. I don't see that he needed to do that. We certainly didn't need to see it (we've seen it!) and there were other was to get Harry and Albus to hold hands or be close or whatever. It didn't need to be the death of his parents.
Act 4, Scene 14: Oh come on, Scorpius asked Rose out? Bull. Scorpius and Albus are meant to be, bitches. It's gonna happen someday when they recognize their feelings. I'll be waiting.
Act 4, Scene 15: Well, that could have ended worse.
Okay, so here are my final thoughts. It was a quick read and it kept me engaged throughout (I was never, um, bored, shall we say?). But it mostly kept me engaged because the plot was implausible, the characters often broke out of character, the dialogue was cheesy and ill-thought out or stilted, the magic system didn't feel consistent, even the stage direction sounded awful! I've heard this book compared to really bad fan fiction, and I am going to agree. It felt rushed and forced and honestly I've read fan fictions that keep to the characters way better and have more interesting plotlines AND make gay characters out of straight characters.
This was a bad book. But beyond that, this was a bad book about a beloved fantasy series. I honestly can't believe Rowling put her name on this. It's terrible. It makes me worry that she's George Lucasing. George Lucas is the worst thing that ever happened to Star Wars. His plotlines are goofy and awful, his dialogue is atrocious, he makes directing choices literally no one likes (constantly). The only reason Star Wars is any good is because of literally everyone else desperately trying to steer the Star Wars ship away from horrible Lucas ideas. Like The Star Wars Christmas Holiday Special or Jar Jar Binks or recutting the originals with really, really shitty CGI. I'm really concerned Rowling's doing that. She just can't keep her hands out of the Harry Potter cookie jar, which in many ways I get. She's been writing this character two decades, now. That's hard to let go of. But on the other hand, the actual Harry Potter books are so good and wonderful and perfect and they deserve to be left alone. Please, put your energy in Cormoran Strike. I love those book and I really want them to be wonderful and great. I'm not even into Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them because it's too close to Potter. And when I sat down and really thought about the plot of that one and got past how lovely it was to be in the Wizarding World again, it was an upsetting movie and it will probably be an upsetting book. I am uninterested in Harry Potter spin-offs and prequels and sequels and useless, non-canon, non-Rowling (or even Rowling) nonsense that won't let the dead rest in peace.
It's a sin to kill a mockingbird and there's mockingbird blood all over these pages.
PART ONE
ACT ONE
Act 1, Scenes 1 & 2: Okay, this is just rehashing the epilogue from Book 7, therefore this is fine and cute. However, can't forgive the stage direction: "His hand is empty. It's a lame trick. Everyone enjoys its lameness". *shudder*
Act 1, Scene 3: Wow okay we are shoehorning in information. And really WTF information as well. Yeah, let's just jump right in to the whole "my parents were Death Eaters," and "Voldemort may be my dad". Also, how cute would Scorpius and Albus be romantically? Answer: so cute.
Act 1, Scene 4: DRACO HAS A PONYTAIL??? EWWWWWWWW. Also, poor Albus. I can totally see how not being the perfect replica of your uber-famous dad would be hard. This weird thing Scorpius has for Rose is weird. Repression, mayhaps? Um, and now Scorpius's mom is suddenly dead? Poor lady got no stage time!
Act 1, Scene 5: Dude, Harry was always terrible at homework. Why the hell would they put him in a position where paperwork and homework are practically the number 1, most important feature? Jesus, the whole wizarding world could go to shit because Potter doesn't finish his homework! There is also a really weird emphasis on candy and particularly candy as a forbidden item. This from the same kid who bought the whole trolley cart for him and Ron their first year?
Act 1, Scene 6: Amos Diggory takin' some cheap shots. Didn't think Amos would be like this.
Act 1, Scene 7: Why on EARTH would Harry give JAMES his cloak this early? Dude needs to keep it! My my but that was an uncomfortable scene between father and son. I wonder if Harry would have been like this with his own parents, had they lived. He certainly was a grumpus to his friends when he was 14 and 15.
Act 1, Scene 8: WTF was that? This whole thing is just too weird. I'll be excited for when something makes sense.
Act 1, Scene 10: Now I'm really confused. I thought Harry found a Time-Turner when Albus was in Year Two, and now it's Year Four and there's a rumor he found it now? Huh? Also, this scene is just further proof that teenagers should be given enough room to make mistakes BUT NOT ONES THIS BIG. Dude, climbing out of the window? How does that even work? I've seen the windows on the Hogwarts Express (duh) and they're not climb-outtable. They're too high up and too small to get through. How is this even working? And why are they going upwards? That's the dumbest idea yet? And also, it sounds like the Trolley Witch is talking right to them, so then why the HECK doesn't she stop them from going out the window?
Act 1, Scene 11: Wait, now the Trolley Witch is turning Pumpkin Pasties into GRENADES and throwing them at the two boys? And saying that Sirius Black's cronies were Fred and George Weasley? You do know that to be a crony you have to be CONTEMPORANEOUS, right? Yeah, nope. I'm not buying it.
Act 1, Scene 12: Okay, first of all, what are so many people doing at this meeting? Shouldn't Professor McGonagall be at Hogwarts? Why is Draco there, he's not involved with the government, is he? Is the wizarding community THAT SMALL that it's only the twenty people key to the real books? (I was going to say "original" but that would then lump this travesty of a book into the canon, something which I'm not willing to do.)
Act 1, Scene 13: I don't believe that an old magic folk's home would be fun. I am only imagining wizards and witches too sick to have control of their powers and ones with dementia or Alzheimer's who know not what they do.
Act 1, Scene 14: Doesn't "overhear" by definition imply that it wasn't supposed to happen? "Voldemort" isn't the family name, yo. The family name is "Riddle," "Voldemort" is his stage name, like Madonna or Cher or Prince. I am really enjoying the healthy skepticism of Scorpius Malfoy. I'm just seeing Tom Felton as Julian Albert in Season 3 of the Flash, interjecting objections and, dare I say it, sense into their flights of fantasy.
Act 1, Scene 15: At least Ron's still marginally funny.
Act 1, Scene 16: I don't remember Polyjuice Potion being so painful. How much time has passed? Where did they get the Polyjuice potion? How did they get the hairs? This all seems waaaaaaaaay too convenient.
Act 1, Scene 18: ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT HERMIONE GODDAMN GRANGER WOULD ALLOW SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS AN ALOHOMORA CHARM TO WORK ON HER OFFICE DOOR?? HERMIONE???? Utter disbelief. She would never. How dare you. This is an insult to her whole character. Ew! And then nephew kisses aunt???? That was completely unnecessary. Oh I'm so grossed out. "Let's have another baby"?????? WHO APPROVED THIS BULLSHIT?????
ACT TWO
Act 2, Scene 3: Ron wouldn't get a snack before coming to look for his nephew and help out his best friend. He just wouldn't. Cheap joke for laughs. Also, am I supposed to believe that just anybody can go to the Headmistress's office and also through the Floo network? I really really really don't believe Hogwarts would be attached to the Floo network. Just because there are chimneys doesn't mean that it would be possible. Hasn't anyone on this writing team read Hogwarts, A History?
Act 2, Scene 4: "These two [Albus and Delphi] are getting on really well now." She's in her TWENTIES and he's FOURTEEN. Again, ew.
Act 2, Scene 5: Also, am I to believe that Bane issues Harry a prophecy and then just rides away without resolving the whole "Harry is trespassing in the Forbidden Forest" thing? Unlikely.
Act 2, Scene 6: If they don't really "math" in the wizarding world, how come Scorpius uses the phrase "to the nth degree"? It's a math term. He also used the phrase, "No way, Jose". Do the Brits even use that phrase?
Act 2, Scene 7: The... what do I call it?... stage directions are terrible. "(His words, not ours)" and "he's...well...having a ball" fill me with bile, specifically back up my esophagus. Next, why is Hermione sitting right by the Durmstrang section? Where's Ron? Why are they even talking to her? They have literally done no prep work for this bizarre mission to the past, have no genuine thought behind it... They are going to royally screw this up. This is bothering me, though. They want to go to the past to save Cedric Diggory because he died as an innocent casualty of the lead-up to the Second Wizarding War. Do they even know how many innocent people died because of Voldemort? Are they going to help Bathilda Bagshot? Are they going to help that poor Muggle studies teacher? Are they going to help Colin Creevey? NO, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THEY'RE DOING OR WHY. Ugh. Therefore, I have no emotional investment into their actions. I'm just annoyed.
Act 2, Scene 8: Oh good lord, Harry being all awful. "I need you to stay away from Scorpius," "you'll stay in the Gryffindor common room because that's your heritage," jeez louise does Harry ever make huge mistakes. Ah, well, it's for plot, presumably? I don't think I believe that but still.
Act 2, Scene 9: Oh, I see. Albus is in Gryffindor because it's a different timeline. Huh. Thrilling. Sigh, Scorpius and Albus are totally a thing.
Act 2, Scene 10: Okay, as a teacher, can confirm that McGonagall has many, many better things to do that keep an eye on the Marauder's Map at all times and make sure Albus and Scorpius aren't hanging out. And I'm sure she's pretty pissed she has to and I bet you a character-accurate McGonagall would be like, "Aw hello no, Potter, let's let them make their own mistakes".
Act 2, Scene 11: Why wouldn't he call her "Aunt Hermione"? What's up with all this weird first-name calling of aunts and uncles business? It feels way too weird to call my aunts and uncles just by their first names.
Act 2, Scene 13: You know, all of this weird birther stuff about Scorpius could be cleared up with, oh, I don't know, A DNA TEST? I really vote there should be someone in the Ministry of Magic who keeps up on Muggle stuff just so that when a situation like this arises, they can be like, "Oh, the Muggles have an ingenious science thing just for this situation!"
Act 2, Scene 16: I still ship it. But! I sincerely doubt Albus could come up with a plan to fix things and I also seriously doubt that "humiliation" is a good way to go. I can't see this working out at all.
Act 2, Scene 18: There's just no subtlety here. Maybe a skilled actor could bring some subtlety, but in the actual words of the script, it feels childishly simple. I'm wrong, sorry. Oh, okay! Let's work together now! Dum de dum de dum! *Everyone dances off into the distance*
Act 2, Scene 19: "Myrtle Elizabeth Warren"? Really? I like Elizabeth Warren immensely, myself, but this just feels obnoxious. Apparently, Rowling has said, "Elizabeth is just one of those sturdy British middle names" but doughnuts to dollars it has to do with Elizabeth Warren and it feels shoehorned and awful.
Act 2, Scene 20: Voldemort Day? Really? That's what you think happens after Voldemort becomes the ruler of the British Wizarding World? How lame. (Everyone enjoys its lameness.)
PART TWO
ACT THREE
Act 3, Scene 2: Oh jeez, they're just hamming up this Voldy stuff, aren't they?
Act 3, Scene 5: Oh for Christ's sake, Snape?
Act 3, Scene 7: Well, at least Neville's getting his due for how important he was. I am very sick of the use of the word "discombobulated". Just because it's fancy doesn't mean there aren't other words for "confused". "I didn't just quote Dumbledore, did I?" "I'm pretty sure that's pure Severus Snape". How are they able to so quickly decide to just kill Snape? And Snape's like, "sure thing, guys, I'm such a good guy but I don't like quoting Dumbledore!" Pffffft.
Act 3, Scene 9: "Ron, I love you and I always have." Really? I hope this was done better in the actual play. Because it's horrible right now, right here, in the book. Oh look, it's Dolores Umbridge! How about we give up the game as soon as she asks, hmmm? Sigh. And how does Scorpius know that Lily's patronus is a doe unless he's a huge creeper? What, are the HP books history books or some nonsense? "Thank you for being my light in the darkness"??? Now I know this was written by teenage girls. "Scorpius, have you been eating too many sweets again?" What IS this, a campaign for Brussels sprouts?
Act 3, Scene 10: "You kept a Time Turner in your bookcase. It's almost laughable!" Yes, yes it is laughable. Therein lies the problem of this book.
Act 3, Scene 11: "Thanks for letting me come up [to your room]". Up? Up? Doesn't EVERYONE know the Slytherin dorm is in the dungeon?
Act 3, Scene 14: Oh, yes, little boys, it's definitely a good idea to try and destroy the time turner yourselves. Bravo.
Act 3, Scene 15: Whoa, Ginny can't forgive Harry possibly? What? That's not how a marriage works, man.
Act 3, Scene 16: Wow, Albus is like extra dumb. Oh! So much wand snapping!
Act 3, Scene 20: Second time the word "fulsome" has been used. It's a weird word. It was weird to hear it come out of the mouth of a 14-year-old boy and it's weird here.
Act 3, Scene 21: Of course Voldemort had a daughter. Blech. Can you even imagine that? That sounds like the grossest, worst thing imaginable.
ACT FOUR
Act 4, Scene 1: "It doesn't make your negligence negligible." REALLY? That's a terrible turn of phrase. That's the kind of phrase that sets the skin crawling. "This is almost a Spartacus moment." Excuse me, it can get worse. Literally on the next line.
Act 4, Scene 2: So, apparently bad girl baby Voldemort is all like, "I'll go kill Harry Potter before Voldemort and then he won't get a chance to kill Voldemort." Dude... NEVILLE. Everyone knows (seriously, this is a big topic of conversation, here) that Neville could have fulfilled the prophecy, too. If Voldemort gets to Godric's Hollow and finds Harry already dead, I'm SURE someone will point out that it could also be Neville. I'm sure the only reason Voldy-woldy didn't investigate Neville too was because he was, oh, I don't know, deadish. But she won't change the fact that Neville can destroy the Dark Lord too.
Act 4, Scene 4: Okay, I kind of ship Drarry, too...
Act 4, Scene 10: Albus suggests he whip up a Polyjuice Potion so that they can transform into Voldemort. They mention that they haven't got a bit of Voldemort to put in the polyjuice potion, but they neglect to mention that it takes the potion quite a while to stew. You literally can't whip up a Polyjuice potion. Then, Ron refers to himself as "the chillest"? Dude, what? OH, but of course, it HAS to be Harry (actually, he puts forth a few solid reasons, but still. Feels cliched).
Act 4, Scene 12: Nope. It's weird that they watched Harry's parents die. I was weirded out by that. I don't see that he needed to do that. We certainly didn't need to see it (we've seen it!) and there were other was to get Harry and Albus to hold hands or be close or whatever. It didn't need to be the death of his parents.
Act 4, Scene 14: Oh come on, Scorpius asked Rose out? Bull. Scorpius and Albus are meant to be, bitches. It's gonna happen someday when they recognize their feelings. I'll be waiting.
Act 4, Scene 15: Well, that could have ended worse.
Okay, so here are my final thoughts. It was a quick read and it kept me engaged throughout (I was never, um, bored, shall we say?). But it mostly kept me engaged because the plot was implausible, the characters often broke out of character, the dialogue was cheesy and ill-thought out or stilted, the magic system didn't feel consistent, even the stage direction sounded awful! I've heard this book compared to really bad fan fiction, and I am going to agree. It felt rushed and forced and honestly I've read fan fictions that keep to the characters way better and have more interesting plotlines AND make gay characters out of straight characters.
This was a bad book. But beyond that, this was a bad book about a beloved fantasy series. I honestly can't believe Rowling put her name on this. It's terrible. It makes me worry that she's George Lucasing. George Lucas is the worst thing that ever happened to Star Wars. His plotlines are goofy and awful, his dialogue is atrocious, he makes directing choices literally no one likes (constantly). The only reason Star Wars is any good is because of literally everyone else desperately trying to steer the Star Wars ship away from horrible Lucas ideas. Like The Star Wars Christmas Holiday Special or Jar Jar Binks or recutting the originals with really, really shitty CGI. I'm really concerned Rowling's doing that. She just can't keep her hands out of the Harry Potter cookie jar, which in many ways I get. She's been writing this character two decades, now. That's hard to let go of. But on the other hand, the actual Harry Potter books are so good and wonderful and perfect and they deserve to be left alone. Please, put your energy in Cormoran Strike. I love those book and I really want them to be wonderful and great. I'm not even into Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them because it's too close to Potter. And when I sat down and really thought about the plot of that one and got past how lovely it was to be in the Wizarding World again, it was an upsetting movie and it will probably be an upsetting book. I am uninterested in Harry Potter spin-offs and prequels and sequels and useless, non-canon, non-Rowling (or even Rowling) nonsense that won't let the dead rest in peace.
It's a sin to kill a mockingbird and there's mockingbird blood all over these pages.
This book seems to be highly polarized--either you loved it, or you hated it. Personally, I loved the fact that it was a screenplay. It made for a quick and easy read, while still providing a much-needed Harry Potter fix.
I can't describe how excited I was when I heard that the screenplay would also be published for Harry Potter fans to read, nor can I describe how excited I was when my husband surprised me with it right after it had been released. The continuation of the Harry Potter story was absolutely brilliant, and I loved every second of it as I devoured it. The twists and turns that are taken, and the reveals towards the end, made for a fast-paced and exciting ride, only made better by the occasional nod to the original series. I would love to see the actual play, but, alas, I don't have the money to make a trip to the UK. Hopefully, it's rumored run in NYC in 2018 is successful enough that it will tour in the US for awhile.
While I think that parts of the story could have been described better, I do have to remind myself that it is a screenplay, and the full effect of it cannot fully be had unless one is watching it. I wasn't a big fan of the writing style, but I thought the story itself was wonderful, and everything I could have expected from a Harry Potter story. I thought that certain scenes could have been excluded, only because they didn't seem to have much influence on the actual progression of the story.
This was an absolutely wonderful read, and I do highly encourage fans of the original series to give it a try, at the very least. It is a fast-paced read with a well-defined tone and an exciting story to tell. I will keep my fingers crossed for the play when it comes to the US, because I would very much love to see it!
I can't describe how excited I was when I heard that the screenplay would also be published for Harry Potter fans to read, nor can I describe how excited I was when my husband surprised me with it right after it had been released. The continuation of the Harry Potter story was absolutely brilliant, and I loved every second of it as I devoured it. The twists and turns that are taken, and the reveals towards the end, made for a fast-paced and exciting ride, only made better by the occasional nod to the original series. I would love to see the actual play, but, alas, I don't have the money to make a trip to the UK. Hopefully, it's rumored run in NYC in 2018 is successful enough that it will tour in the US for awhile.
While I think that parts of the story could have been described better, I do have to remind myself that it is a screenplay, and the full effect of it cannot fully be had unless one is watching it. I wasn't a big fan of the writing style, but I thought the story itself was wonderful, and everything I could have expected from a Harry Potter story. I thought that certain scenes could have been excluded, only because they didn't seem to have much influence on the actual progression of the story.
This was an absolutely wonderful read, and I do highly encourage fans of the original series to give it a try, at the very least. It is a fast-paced read with a well-defined tone and an exciting story to tell. I will keep my fingers crossed for the play when it comes to the US, because I would very much love to see it!
Huh. It wasn't as awful as I expected, and there were some nice father/son moments, especially at the end, and Scorpius and Albus were adorable, but overall, compared to the original books, it was pretty awful. There were just a ton of WTF points going on. And why is Cedric suddenly the most important person to history again? And the Triwizard Tournament is just so random. And since I've been rereading the books, Ron is so much more awesome than he was in the play. He was just an idiot in the play. And it seemed like there was just a deus ex machina moment with the love potion and blanket conveniently being there to save the day.
idk I have a lot of jumbled thoughts about it and most of them are not good, but I guess there were small moments that moved this from a 2.5 to a 3 star review for me, and I didn't hate it as much as the other 2 star rated books I have. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but there you go.
idk I have a lot of jumbled thoughts about it and most of them are not good, but I guess there were small moments that moved this from a 2.5 to a 3 star review for me, and I didn't hate it as much as the other 2 star rated books I have. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but there you go.
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