The Sweetness of Forgetting

Readers first encounter Mamie when she is sitting by her window at l’heure bleue waiting for the stars to come out as she does every day. Why is it so important for Mamie to gaze at the stars every evening, and what do the stars come to symbolize? Why does she name her bakery after the North Star?

Describe Hope’s relationship with her daughter Annie at the beginning of the novel. How are they similar? How are they different from one another? How does their relationship change over the course of the novel? How does their quest to discover Mamie’s past affect their relationship?

In contrast to Mamie and Jacob’s belief in love at first sight, Hope has resigned herself to the idea that she will never find true love. How and why does Hope’s attitude to love change throughout the novel? How do her interactions and conversations with the men in the novel—Gavin, Alain, and Jacob—serve to change how she feels about love? Do you believe in love at first sight?

How does food serve as a bridge between cultures and characters throughout The Sweetness of Forgetting? What memories and traditions are baked into Hope’s creations, and how does baking help her preserve the past? What does Hope gain when she learns about the unexpected origins of her creations, particularly the Star Pie?

Describe Mamie’s belief in God, prayer, and religion. How difficult do you think it was for her to hide her true religion over the years, and how does it change her as a person? How was she was able to maintain her Jewish faith while practicing as a Roman Catholic for so many years? Of the differences between religions, what do you think Mamie means when she says: “It is mankind who creates the differences. That does not mean it is not all the same God”?

As Mamie struggles to remember her past, Hope meets people like Olivier Berr who help fill in the ever-expanding holes in her grandmother’s memory. How does Hope’s newfound understanding of Mamie’s past help her make sense of her own upbringing and family troubles? Why do the people that Hope meets feel compelled to preserve such a painful history? What do you think would be lost if Hope was not able to find the people who played a role in Mamie’s story?

Do you think that Mamie should have told Josephine about her past (or told Hope earlier)? Why or why not? What would you have done if you were Mamie? What impact does keeping such a monumental secret have on Mamie, and on future generations?

Elida White introduces Hope and Annie to the Albanian word besa, the act of taking care of those in need. In addition to the Muslims who took in Mamie during World War II, how do the characters of the novel practice besa toward one another? Why is it so difficult for Hope to accept that others want to take care of her, particularly Gavin?

How does Hope’s relationship with her mother influence how she raises Annie? What does it mean for Annie and Hope to grow up with such strong and independent women as their mothers, and fathers who are largely absent from their lives?

Why is it so important for Hope to keep the North Star Bakery in business? What would be lost if the bakery closed?

Hope grew up listening to Mamie’s fairy tales, but she never imagined that the stories were anything but fantasy. What purpose and meaning do the stories serve for the storyteller—Mamie—and the listener—Hope, and later Annie? How does Hope’s understanding of the stories shift as the novel progresses? How do these stories impact Hope’s views on love and fate?

Discuss the ending of the novel. Were Mamie and Jacob’s sacrifices for one another worth the suffering that they endured in the end? How does their reunion personally impact each character? What does Hope learn from Mamie’s final letter, and how does it allow her to move forward with her life?