Fetishized

A “raw and lyrical” (New York Times) memoir-in-essays from former pinup model and lead singer of Nylon Pink Kaila Yu, reckoning with being an object of Asian fetish and how media, pop culture, and colonialism contributed to the oversexualization of Asian women.

No one fetishized Kaila Yu more than she fetishized herself. As a young girl, she dreamt of beauty. But none of the beautiful women on television looked like her. In the late ’90s and early 2000s Asian women were often reduced to overtly sexual and submissive caricatures—the geishas of the book-turned-film Memoirs of a Geisha; the lewd twins, Fook Mi and Fook Yu, in Austin Powers in Goldmember; Papillon Soo Soo’s sex worker character in the cult Vietnam War movie Full Metal Jacket; and pin-up goddess Sung-Hi Lee. Meanwhile, the “girls next door” were always white. Within that narrow framework, Kaila internalized a painful conclusion: The only way someone who looked like her could have value or be considered beautiful and desirable was to sexualize herself.

Blending vulnerable stories from Yu’s life with incisive cultural critique and history, Fetishized is a memoir-in-essays exploring feminism, beauty, yellow fever, and the roles pop culture and colonialism played in shaping pervasive and destructive stereotypes about Asian women and their bodies. Yu reflects on the women in media who influenced her, the legacy of U.S. occupation in shaping Western perceptions of Asian women, her own experiences in the pinup and import modeling industry, auditioning for TV and film roles that perpetuated dehumanizing stereotypes, and touring the world with her band in revealing outfits. She recounts altering her body to conform to Western beauty standards, allowing men to treat her like a sex object, and the emotional toll and trauma of losing her sense of self in the pursuit of the image she thought the world wanted.

Candid and intimate, Fetishized is a personal journey of self-love and healing. It’s both a searing indictment of the violence of objectification and a tender exploration of the broken relationship so many of us have with beauty, desire, and our own bodies.

These discussion questions were provided by the future of agency.

Book club questions for Fetishized by Kaila Yu

Use these discussion questions to guide your next book club meeting.

What are some of the Asian stereotypes discussed in Fetishized, and where did they originate from? How are they perpetuated today?

How do Yu’s personal experiences illuminate the broader examples of how Asian women are portrayed in the media?

In the chapter “Geisha,” Yu discusses the book Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, and the 2005 movie based on the book. How do these two pieces of media harmfully perpetuate Asian stereotypes?

Where does the stereotype of the butterfly come from? How does Sung-Hi Lee reclaim this stereotype?

The chapter titled “Not Lucy Liu” details how actress Lucy Liu has argued against critics and proudly proclaims she helped Asian American visibility in film, despite some of her characters leaning into stereotypes on screen. Do you agree with Lucy Liu’s analysis about her career? Why or why not?

Where does the model minority myth come from, according to Yu? How is it an example of a harmful stereotype? Is there such a thing as a good stereotype?

In the description of the book, it says: “No one fetishized Kaila Yu more than she fetishized herself.” After reading Fetishized, do you feel this is true? Why or why not?

How does Yu’s perception of herself and the way she perceives others’ perception—and fetishization—impact how she interacts with romantic interests, friends, and coworkers? How does it impact her mental health? How does this change over time for Yu, especially as she’s looking back on her relationship with her bandmate Jamie?

In the chapter titled “Lolitas,” Yu writes: “Working with men who loved Asian women was the path of least resistance.” Why do you think Yu feels this way?

In the chapter titled “A Reckoning,” Yu says: “Internalized racism teaches Asian women they can escape racism through assimilation...” How do we see Yu assimilate throughout the book? How does the patriarchy lend a hand in contributing to or shaping her feelings and experiences?

Yu mentions the 2021 Atlanta spa shooting multiple times throughout the book, powerfully threading together the fetishization and objectification of Asian women with her own experiences and painful impact of the shooting. Why do you think the 2021 Atlanta spa shooting resonates so deeply with Yu?

How does Yu systematically erase herself throughout the book and rebel? How do we see Yu reclaim herself by the end of the book?

Fetishized Book Club Questions PDF

Click here for a printable PDF of the Fetishized discussion questions