Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

What kind of similarities did you identify between Marc’s and Tabby’s fathers? Did you think that any aspect of Tabby’s relationship with her father was reflected in her relationship with Marc? If so, how? Did you identify any similarities between Rob and Marc?

Which friend are you: Tabby, Lexi, or Laila? Are you a Granny Tab or a Ms. Gretchen?

In the course of their breakup, Marc attempted to explain himself to Tabby. What did you think about Tabby’s reaction? Would you have reacted similarly or differently? If differently, how so?

The role of friendship/communion is a theme woven throughout the story. What do you rely on your friends for?

Tabby has some challenges relating authentically as herself to her work environment. Ultimately, she finds a way to make an advantage out of her unique perspective. Can you relate? How so? Are there similar opportunities for you in your own work environment?

I started writing Black Girls Must Die Exhausted in early 2017, amid an environment when the discussion of race in America had been very much pushed to the forefront of our collective consciousness. One of the challenges that I presented to myself while writing was to tell a story that included the layer of a realistic depiction of the contemporary day-to-day experience of race in America from a Black female perspective. For Tabby, one aspect of her experience of race is embodied in the fear experienced when pulled over by Officer Mallory. What did you think of her reaction? What did you think of Officer Mallory’s reaction? Marc tells Tabby that she should not feel threatened when approached by a police officer because she is a woman, rather than a man. Do you agree with Marc? Were there any other experiences of race that you identified with or related to in the book? Which ones? Have you ever thought how you personally experience race? Are there examples that you can cite?

Early on in the story, Tabby learns that the word she’s been living is “exhausted.” It comes as a surprise, given that she thought, by living out her “checklist” life, she would be fulfilled. From the point of her realization, the story unfolds as she tries to change that word. What word would describe the life you’re currently living? If that’s not the word you imagine for yourself, what would you most want that word to be?

Part of the beauty of Tabby and Granny Tab’s relationship is the closeness and strength of love that they share that allows them to talk about anything. Have you ever been asked what it feels like to experience life from your racial perspective? Have you ever asked anyone else? What do you imagine you’d say? What do you imagine someone of a different race would say? Would your response change based on the nature of the relationship you had with the person in discussion with you?

Tabby, Lexi, and Laila spend a bit of time over drinks discussing some of their experiences related to the intersectionality of race and gender. They seem to agree on the feeling that they have to choose one over the other, and protections and willingness to discuss different views fail most often when the topic of race comes up more than gender. What are your thoughts?

Initially, in her desperation to have a child, Tabby goes down a path of questionable decision-making. What if she had become pregnant with Marc’s “NBA baby”? What do you think Marc would have done?

Does your employer’s health care plan cover fertility treatments like IVF? Do you think that it should or should not?

Tabby, her mom, and her friends often found themselves with a drink in hand, both to celebrate and to commiserate or contemplate. What are some ways that you choose to celebrate?

By the end of the book, the title Black Girls Must Die Exhausted has taken on several meanings. What has it meant for you throughout your experience? When you first came across the book? While reading? At the end? What is your takeaway from the novel?