You Got Anything Stronger?: Stories
"You Got Anything Stronger? continues the project of unshackling. It's soul-baring work." - The Washington Post
So. Where were we? Right, you and I left off in October 2017.
When I released We're Going to Need More Wine, the response was so great people asked when I would do a sequel. Frankly, after being so open and honest in my writing, I wasn't sure there was more of me I was ready to share. But life happens with all its plot twists. And new stories demand to be told.
A lot has changed in four years--I became a mom to two amazing girls. My husband retired. My career has expanded so that I have the opportunity to lift up other voices that need to be heard. But the world has also shown us that we have a lot we still have to fight for--as women, as black women, as mothers, as aging women, as human beings, as friends. In You Got Anything Stronger?, I show you how this ever-changing life presents challenges, even as it gives me moments of pure joy. I take you on a girl's night at Chateau Marmont, and I also talk to Isis, my character from Bring It On. For the first time, I truly open up about my surrogacy journey and the birth of Kaavia James Union Wade. And I take on racist institutions and practices in the entertainment industry, asking for equality and real accountability. You Got Anything Stronger? is me at my most vulnerable.
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Community Reviews
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"i read those words now and hear them again. i didn't receive this as concern at the time. it was an acknowledgment of failure. because at that point i would have sold my soul for a win....there was no way to disguise where i'd been glued back together, so i was left to hope that the breakage and repair would at least be described as history...but how do you value that soul"
"i'm trying to learn the difference between resilience and neglecting my emotional reality...they can feel the same. one sounds empowering and one is not helpful at all"
"me? i continued to float just above the scene, very aware that i was a balloon that could drift away at any moment"
"in exploring the dark parts of myself, i understand my version of dissociative fugue, a disappearing act i do under stress that can involve literal fleeing or in this case, an emotional departure from my surroundings and circumstances."
"what made my boyfriends family worthy of defining my worthiness"
"the shaman was the first person to explain to me that to be vulnerable doesn't mean you are weak. and if you've let people into your life who have attacked your vulnerability, its not because you exposed some achilles heel it is absolutely a deficit in them."
"we hugged the kind of soul hug i would have resisted before..."
pg 58 about kaavia falling down and scrapping knees
"clearly the goal should be effective communication and not the shutdown of feelings"
"(childs peace) is not up for negotiation"
"most women work whether it happens outside the home or in, is not seen and if its seen it is generally unacknowledged" "its about keeping all effort invisible and how can we expect a family to respect work that they do not see?"
chapter 10 FUCK BALANCE
pg 122, 126, 127,
"grace, that combination of love and mercy that we all have to give and yet are trained to think we dont deserve"
"what if you stop trying to appeal to that closed off crew and instead focus on the people who you want to hang with?"
"when your success is you, that is not contingent on needing to hear 'yes' from anybody, you make that 'yes' less important and free yourself from needing it'
'we focus on the external features of women's lives and ignore the interior'
'only when we identify the issue do we have any hope of really treating it. thats real wisdom'
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