So You Want to Talk About Race

The last chapter was well worth reading. Most of the rest of the book was pretty basic; if you've thought & read much about race relations in America, there's not much there. But her call to action is obviously legit, and well taken.

This book is race and racism 101. The explanations were extremely cogent and even where you might not initially see the author's point she is also very persuasive. I especially loved when she explained some of the dynamics in her relationship with her white mother and how she had to explain some things even to her. This would be a fabulous gift for almost everyone in America.

I almost did it. I almost believed the negative reviews. I grew annoyed by the author before I'd even heard what she had to say because reviewers were incorrectly paraphrasing and/or leaving out key words (about her mother, about parent-teacher conference times, about being labeled as racists). Essentially they were hearing only what they wanted to hear. I was even almost conned into feeling bad for them when commenters told these negative reviewers that they clearly hadn't understood the book, they didn't "get it."

I can now say with confidence that they really didn't get it.
(Go ahead and huff and puff and stammer and stutter over it again claiming that you did in fact "get it"...we'll all wait.)

If you cannot keep yourself from becoming offended or grasp why calling a white person a "cracker" is not the same as labeling a black person as a "nigger", then you need more assistance. You need to seek additional resources until you do understand. You need to check your privilege (great chapter on this in here as well). It's terrifying to me that someone cannot grasp something this simple. If someone cannot grasp this, then how can we get them to grasp the full picture? I admire Ijeoma Oluo for being brave enough to try and relentless enough to keep trying.

I started this book willing to listen and learn but also a little hesitant, a little scared, a little intimidated. But chapter by chapter it it clicked just a little bit more. I could feel it settling into place like rotating cogs - click, click, click.

There were moments where I felt called out. There were racist things I realized I may have done or thought at some point in my life and also things that I haven't done/thought but had never even stopped to consider. Ijeoma's tone is unapologetic and avoids sugar coating what many may find a bitter pill to swallow. I, however, started to respect it. This approach just made me determined to do better, be better. Listen. Learn. Don't make excuses. Don't try to counter with my own disadvantages.

This is a really important book that I wish everyone would read.
And if you are white and the things in this made you/might make you uncomfortable? Good. They should.

To refuse to listen to someone's cries for justice and equality until the request comes in a language you feel comfortable with is a way of asserting your dominance over them in the situation. The oppressed person reaching out to you is already disadvantaged by the oppression they are trying to address. By tone policing, you are increasing that disadvantage by insisting that you get to determine if their grievances are valid and will only decide they are so if, on top of everything they are already enduring, they make the effort to prioritize your comfort.

Now put on your big kid pants and try again and again and again, as many agains as it takes. Try again to listen. Try again to learn.

5 Stars

Virtual discussion lead by Cat on 31/July/20

i thoroughly enjoyed the candid writing coupled with supporting data... it is a helpful supplement when initiating and facilitating uncomfortable yet important conversations about race in america.