Knotted (Trails of Sin)

Oh boy, Knotted is dark. I knew I was picking up a dark cowboy romance, but I was not prepared for this. There are pages of graphic sexual assault followed by a romance that repeatedly uses Conor’s trauma as part of its healing plot. I am usually all for giving me a man hunting down the monsters who hurt the woman he loves. Somehow, I stopped caring about the vengeance mission between the ranch drama, murders, family secrets, and cowboy vigilante business. Conor and Jake are childhood sweethearts growing up in a tiny Oklahoma ranching community. They are sixteen, completely in love, and planning a future together. Then, Conor is brutally raped in front of Jake and her brother. The assault is extremely graphic and lengthy. Conor is then taken away by her abusive father while Jake remains behind. She writes to Jake over and over, but he never responds. Years later, Conor returns home expecting Jake to honor the promise they made as teenagers. Jake has spent their separation becoming a hardened rancher with a vengeance mission against the men responsible for her assault. He has also secretly had a side project that made sure Conor will always have a home to return to. I had a big problem with Jake deciding he could personally guide Conor through years of severe sexual trauma after self educating himself about trauma recovery. YouTube does not make you a therapist. Conor deserved professional help. The sexual relationship between Jake and Conor made me uncomfortable because so much of it is presented as therapeutic healing. Jake recreates situations connected to Conor’s assault while talking her through her fear so she can reclaim control over her body and sexuality. I understand what the book was trying to accomplish. I also understand that some dark romance readers may find those scenes cathartic or empowering. I found them incredibly difficult to read. The story spends so much time returning to Conor’s rape, either through memories or sexual reenactments, that her trauma began to feel inseparable from the romance itself. I wanted Conor to have healing that existed outside Jake’s bed. I wanted her recovery to belong to her rather than depend so heavily on Jake becoming her boyfriend, protector, dominant, and unofficial trauma therapist. Jake frustrated me in other ways too. His reason for ignoring Conor’s letters makes sense when viewed through the fear and trauma of a teenage boy who witnessed something horrific. Jake also spends those same years pursuing elaborate revenge against her attackers. This hypocrisy made it difficult for me to accept that he could hunt grown men across the country, but could not find the courage to answer a single letter from the girl he loved. Pam Godwin certainly committed to the darkness. The violence is brutal, the sex is explicit, and Jake and Conor’s relationship is intense. Pick this up if you enjoy very dark romances about trauma, revenge, BDSM, possessive men, and unconventional approaches to healing.

This book by Pam Godwin was a rollercoaster of a ride, not an easy read, but an unforgettable one. The kind that lives rent free in your mind long after you finish the last page. This book was traumatizing, sad, brutal and raw, yet was so full of love, passion, desire and devotion. Highly captivating. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and can't wait to continue with the series. I highly recommend but please check the trigger warnings before reading as mental health matters.