I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself: A Novel
Winner of the Lambda Literary Award for LGBTQ+ Speculative Fiction
Dept. of Speculation meets Black Mirror in this lyrical, speculative debut about a queer mother raising her daughter in an unjust surveillance state
In a United States not so unlike our own, the Department of Balance has adopted a radical new form of law enforcement: rather than incarceration, wrongdoers are given a second (and sometimes, third, fourth, and fifth) shadow as a reminder of their crime—and a warning to those they encounter. Within the Department, corruption and prejudice run rampant, giving rise to an underclass of so-called Shadesters who are disenfranchised, publicly shamed, and deprived of civil rights protections.
Kris is a Shadester and a new mother to a baby born with a second shadow of her own. Grieving the loss of her wife and thoroughly unprepared for the reality of raising a child alone, Kris teeters on the edge of collapse, fumbling in a daze of alcohol, shame, and self-loathing. Yet as the kid grows, Kris finds her footing, raising a child whose irrepressible spark cannot be dampened by the harsh realities of the world. She can’t forget her wife, but with time, she can make a new life for herself and the kid, supported by a community of fellow misfits who defy the Department to lift one another up in solidarity and hope.
With a first-person register reminiscent of the fierce self-disclosure of Sheila Heti and the poetic precision of Ocean Vuong, I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself is a bold debut novel that examines the long shadow of grief, the hard work of parenting, and the power of queer resistance.
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Community Reviews
1.75 stars!
I had such high hopes for this book, but I seem to be in the minority in my opinion on it. I honestly hated it and it took me a while to make myself finish it. The concept seemed super interesting and I was hoping for worldbuilding and exploring this dystopian world, but the author really didn't do that. It really just focused on this one lady in a sort of short stream of consciousness type of writing who was honestly sort of annoying. I actually don't mind the stream of consciousness writing when it's done well, but only when I don't hate the character lol. I appreciated that this book explored grief and parenthood, but it just started dragging.
My other issue with the book is the main character's child. omg most annoying child in the world. She was so fucking annoying, and the main character didn't do anything to parent the child. She just let her kid do whatever, even though the government was watching and she kept worrying the government would take her child away. But even then, she was like /sure whatever/ even when her child was like trying to form a coalition against the government. Also the child was like eight at this point. At six, the kid asked about power and who holds power, which is just unrealistic af. I couldn't believe it.
There were also just a lot of sex scenes and I wasn't about that. It just got sort of gratuitous and porn-y after a while. If I wanted to read porn, I would have read an erotica book, not a dystopian novel.
Tbh the only characters I liked were the side characters and I was over the main character and her child within the first 25% of the book. I gave it 1.75 stars because I couldn't even justify giving it 2 stars, but there were some lines I liked in the book (and I liked the basic concept), so I guess it's better than 1 1/2 stars.
I had such high hopes for this book, but I seem to be in the minority in my opinion on it. I honestly hated it and it took me a while to make myself finish it. The concept seemed super interesting and I was hoping for worldbuilding and exploring this dystopian world, but the author really didn't do that. It really just focused on this one lady in a sort of short stream of consciousness type of writing who was honestly sort of annoying. I actually don't mind the stream of consciousness writing when it's done well, but only when I don't hate the character lol. I appreciated that this book explored grief and parenthood, but it just started dragging.
My other issue with the book is the main character's child. omg most annoying child in the world. She was so fucking annoying, and the main character didn't do anything to parent the child. She just let her kid do whatever, even though the government was watching and she kept worrying the government would take her child away. But even then, she was like /sure whatever/ even when her child was like trying to form a coalition against the government. Also the child was like eight at this point. At six, the kid asked about power and who holds power, which is just unrealistic af. I couldn't believe it.
There were also just a lot of sex scenes and I wasn't about that. It just got sort of gratuitous and porn-y after a while. If I wanted to read porn, I would have read an erotica book, not a dystopian novel.
Tbh the only characters I liked were the side characters and I was over the main character and her child within the first 25% of the book. I gave it 1.75 stars because I couldn't even justify giving it 2 stars, but there were some lines I liked in the book (and I liked the basic concept), so I guess it's better than 1 1/2 stars.
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