How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

Picking up where Quiet ended, How to Be Yourself is the best book you’ll ever read about how to conquer social anxiety.

“This book is also a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self.” —Susan Cain, New York Times, USA Today and nationally bestselling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you’re introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations—meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss—you've probably been told, “Just be yourself!” But that's easier said than done—especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and—at long last—exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

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Published May 14, 2019

320 pages

Average rating: 8.27

11 RATINGS

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Community Reviews

erikgeorge
Mar 25, 2026
8/10 stars
I thought it was a pretty good read, although it took me some time to get through it (I think I'm just bad at reading, or rather sticking with reading). The advice given is helpful - but there probably isn't too much that you haven't really already heard or thought of yourself. But the book is overall helpful and uplifting, and will most likely inspire some confidence in yourself to overcome at least some of your anxiety. I mean hey, before reading the book I had never done karaoke and halfway through it, I did! Coincidence? Probably, but who knows!
Katelin
Mar 17, 2026
8/10 stars
The information and tips inside this book were super helpful! I'm pretty sure I'm going to be putting these tips to use in my everyday life. :')

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