History Is All You Left Me

I keep reading hard-to-read books. I read The Hate U Give about police brutality against black people, particularly black men, I read Between Shades of Grey about Stalin deporting thousands and thousands of people from the Baltic states to slave camps in Siberia, and now I just finished History is All You Left Me about the death of the love of one's life.

There are so many feelings about this book. It was really well-written, I thought. There was a lot of nuance but it didn't pull any punches. There were some great twists. There were some perfect truths about grief and love and dealing with the two at the same time from all kinds of different directions. It made me remember what it was like to be seventeen and be heartbroken, to still keep a plan in the back of your head. To think about what it would be like to go back to that person who was your first real love. It made me compulsively text my husband to make sure he was still there because I can't imagine being in the world without him and that's a hard thing to come up against.

This was a hard book. But I'm so glad I read it.

Ya know - I love Adam. He's such an amazing author, and person, and while THIS book has that emotional punch of expect, it's not a ME book.

And that's okay.

I did adore the characters; beautifully flawed as they were. I love the message/s behind the story. I see why it's such a well loved book - Adam's books do that. And they stick.

Narrator notes: adored!

I'm using the "liked it" 3 Star rating on this one, which kind of makes me feel like a jerk because I want to give it more but can't feel like I "really liked it."

The characters are all likable enough. My issue is that they aren't lovable enough. Allow me to explain. I am supposed to believe that Theo(dore) was romantically loved beyond belief by two boyfriends (current and ex) who come together to remember him and celebrate him and grieve him. I am supposed to believe that perfect Theo(dore) loved each of these boys in return and that they were both super amazing. There is another love that I won't spoil that I was supposed to believe as well. I didn't believe any of them enough to care or to cry or to feel anything. I was reading a book. I wasn't in the book.

I don't have an issue with Silvera's writing. I actually really enjoy it and it flows nicely enough that I never have a problem picking the book back up. I will definitely read his other books because I like his actual writing so much.

3.5 Stars but have to round down to 3 and not up to 4 (even though - or maybe because? - it would drive Griffin bonkers)

𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 10/10 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑

I think this book is so beautifully written. It doesn’t have difficult sentences that make you frustrated when you’re reading tired, but it still has lovely moments and quotes. It’s also heart wrenching, and I cried, so you’ve been warned.