Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

This book was particularly helpful in defining healthy ways to set boundaries and deal with any type of toxic relationship.

Great book

In her most poignant book to date, Lysa TerKeurst explores both “the beauty of good boundaries and the heartbreaking realities of a goodbye…What is communicated in vagueness, stays in vagueness…A boundary presented as a hopeful wish is nothing but a weak suggestion…If a boundary is presented with doubt, it won’t be effectively carried out…When we allow a boundary to be violated, bad behavior will be validated…Access without accountability will eventually lead to abandonment.” Boundaries aren’t intended to control others; boundaries hold us together. “Boundaries aren’t meant to be weaponized. They are meant to…prioritize…Good boundaries bring relief to the grief.” Boundaries may not fix the other person, but they will fix our eyes on Christ. “I cannot be the solution” but I am happy to bring some “soul-utions.” Boundaries “aren’t a violation of Scripture but rather a verification…that proper healing requires.” “‘Things are better’ is not the same as ‘things are healed.’” We can forgive the fact, but we still need to process the impact. “The greatest source of my suffering was my refusal to accept what I could not change…Blame is an attempt to medicate unhealed pain…Expectations are sometimes simmering resentments in disguise…What you don't work out, you’ll act out…Expending too much emotionally can bankrupt a person’s well-being.” Boundaries prevent us from becoming “a carrier of human hurt rather than a conduit of God’s love.” “Holy purposes lead to wholeness.” Brokenness isn’t our final destination; it's the road we take in our journey to wholeness and healing. “Mental health is a commitment to reality at all costs.” Even if that price tag is a goodbye. “The original phrase in the 1500s was ‘God Be with Ye.’ The contraction of that phrase was ‘Godbwye’ which eventually became ‘goodbye’...more of a sending off with God rather than a slammed door.” Good Boundaries and Goodbyes asks tough questions: “What is the great dread in my soul?” “Is this something that is supposed to reform me or inform me?” It is an invitation to let Christ stand in the gap between where you are and where you long to be and a petition to let Truth be the boss of you!