Crying in H Mart: A Memoir
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - From the indie rock sensation known as Japanese Breakfast, an unforgettable memoir about family, food, grief, love, and growing up Korean American--"in losing her mother and cooking to bring her back to life, Zauner became herself" (NPR). - CELEBRATING OVER ONE YEAR ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humor and heart, she tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, and performing gigs with her fledgling band--and meeting the man who would become her husband--her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her. Vivacious and plainspoken, lyrical and honest, Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage. Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely, and complete with family photos, Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish, share, and reread.
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Community Reviews
“I remember these things clearly because that was how my mother loved you, not through white lies and constant verbal affirmation, but in subtle observations of what brought you joy, pocketed away to make you feel comforted and cared for without even realizing it.”
What a beautiful tribute to her "Lovely" mother.
I connected with this at first because of my own complicated relationship with my mother. Zauner had struggles with both of her parents, for different reasons. She was finally feeling like she was coming back to achieving a closer relationship with her mother, when she finds out her mom has been diagnosed with cancer. She lives in the East Coast and her parents are in Eugene, Oregon, so she drops everything to head back home across the country. In between recounting the horrors of watching her mother suffer through this terrible illness, Zauner threads in memories of growing up with her Korean mother and American father, the good and the bad. She had tried to reconnect with her mother through food, and her writing becomes almost lyrical, and you can almost taste these meals she's lovingly recreated and how it's given her a better appreciation of her mother and her heritage.
I couldn't help but feel for her when, after her mother passes, she has dreams of her mother being alive and in the dream being so happy to see her, that she's not dead after all, she was just away somewhere, or couldn't contact her for some reason -- only to wake up to reality. Well, 30 years after my brother passed away all too young from lung cancer, I still have those dreams. Not as frequently as I used to, but they still come. I still am just as happy to see him, and still devastated to wake up to the knowledge that he's still gone.
Extra bonus: The author is a musician, in a band Japanese Breakfast, and her references to music were also fun to read. Now I have to go look up some of this music she wrote about!
I connected with this at first because of my own complicated relationship with my mother. Zauner had struggles with both of her parents, for different reasons. She was finally feeling like she was coming back to achieving a closer relationship with her mother, when she finds out her mom has been diagnosed with cancer. She lives in the East Coast and her parents are in Eugene, Oregon, so she drops everything to head back home across the country. In between recounting the horrors of watching her mother suffer through this terrible illness, Zauner threads in memories of growing up with her Korean mother and American father, the good and the bad. She had tried to reconnect with her mother through food, and her writing becomes almost lyrical, and you can almost taste these meals she's lovingly recreated and how it's given her a better appreciation of her mother and her heritage.
I couldn't help but feel for her when, after her mother passes, she has dreams of her mother being alive and in the dream being so happy to see her, that she's not dead after all, she was just away somewhere, or couldn't contact her for some reason -- only to wake up to reality. Well, 30 years after my brother passed away all too young from lung cancer, I still have those dreams. Not as frequently as I used to, but they still come. I still am just as happy to see him, and still devastated to wake up to the knowledge that he's still gone.
Extra bonus: The author is a musician, in a band Japanese Breakfast, and her references to music were also fun to read. Now I have to go look up some of this music she wrote about!
Read this bc my book club wanted to read it. It was a quick read and although the situation/relationship the author had with her mom was different than mine, I still related to much of the care taking and grief described. At one point it was too painful so I put it down but returned to it a few days later. Not sure how you’re feeling about your mom’s situation right now, but this book might be helpful as well as upsetting.
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