Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind?and Keep?Love
Introduces the theory of adult attachment as an advanced relationship science that can enable individuals to find and sustain love, offering insight into the roles of genetics and early family life in how people approach relationships.
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Community Reviews
I’ve got my work cut out for me, don’t I?
It’s a simpler guide than an in depth one, I think. It doesn’t really give you tips for how to deal with the reactions and move into the calm state where you can more effectively communicate, especially when the triggers are in response to someone else’s. Ultimately the book is all about dropping the unsatisfying and finding securely attached people. Communicate your needs. Notice when you’re deactivated/using protest behaviour. Leave if your attempts at both of those don’t help. I feel more validated knowing I did my best in previous relationships, both in how long it took to leave and in leaving at all. You just try to do better next time.
It’s a simpler guide than an in depth one, I think. It doesn’t really give you tips for how to deal with the reactions and move into the calm state where you can more effectively communicate, especially when the triggers are in response to someone else’s. Ultimately the book is all about dropping the unsatisfying and finding securely attached people. Communicate your needs. Notice when you’re deactivated/using protest behaviour. Leave if your attempts at both of those don’t help. I feel more validated knowing I did my best in previous relationships, both in how long it took to leave and in leaving at all. You just try to do better next time.
This book is amazing. It's the love handbook the world has been waiting for, and I can't speak too highly of it. Also, I suspect that the only reason it doesn't have 5 stars is because it confronts a lot of people with a lot of truths they don't want to face about themselves or their relationships.
I’ve caught glimpses of attachment theory in the past but this book was a comprehensive introduction with real life examples and practical tips to take forward in your life and relationships.
Definitely reflected a lot on my own tendencies as well as how they interact with my current and precious partners. Will be good conversations going forward in my relationship!
The epilogue sums it up
“For us, the most important tame home message from this book is that relationships should not be left to chance. Relationships are one of the most rewarding of human experiences, above and beyond other gifts that life has to offer. In fact, one study found that 73% of over three hundred University student participants were willing to sacrifice the majority of their goals in life for a romantic relationship. But, despite the importance we assign to our most intimate bones, most of us still know very little about the science behind romantic relationships a e allow ourselves all to often to be guided by misconceptions and myths”
Definitely reflected a lot on my own tendencies as well as how they interact with my current and precious partners. Will be good conversations going forward in my relationship!
The epilogue sums it up
“For us, the most important tame home message from this book is that relationships should not be left to chance. Relationships are one of the most rewarding of human experiences, above and beyond other gifts that life has to offer. In fact, one study found that 73% of over three hundred University student participants were willing to sacrifice the majority of their goals in life for a romantic relationship. But, despite the importance we assign to our most intimate bones, most of us still know very little about the science behind romantic relationships a e allow ourselves all to often to be guided by misconceptions and myths”
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