The Wrong Calamity

Raised to believe she’s a no-account, Marsha Jacobson falls prey to an assistant dean at her college, who knows a pushover when he sees one. Afraid to say no, she agrees to marry him and move to Japan. A chance meeting with a Mattel Toys executive leads to a high-stakes job, and as success boosts her confidence, Peter becomes more abusive. After they return to America, she escapes from him with their two toddlers, chased by police. Three years later, a single parent with a serious health emergency, she earns an MBA.

Feeling a true sense of herself for the first time, Marsha launches a significant career and reconnects with Jay, a former colleague and recent widower. They marry and have many joyful years together—until Jay’s buried past comes to get them and their life together starts to crumble. Ignoring harsh truths as things deteriorate, she insists they’ll make it to the other side of this hard time with their marriage intact.

Then the true calamity they’re facing becomes apparent and shatters her. With time, reflection, and the ability to recognize support when its offered, she emerges from her grief sure-footed and able to have a happy, fulfilling life. In this compelling, generous, and, above all, inspiring memoir, Marsha reckons with the way trauma spreads from generation to generation and person to person, and learns that the effects of trauma need not last a lifetime.

This discussion guide was shared and sponsored in partnership with DartFrog Books.

Book club questions for The Wrong Calamity by Marsha Jacobson

Use these discussion questions to guide your next book club meeting.

What were the underlying forces that made Marsha agree to marry Peter despite knowing the marriage would “nail her into a very bad box”? Have you ever made a decision you later realized was made for the wrong reasons?

Marsha lied to the business school financial aid officer about her loan and to her landlady about being divorced. What would you have done in her place? Do you consider her a liar? Do these lies make you question her character or her honesty in telling her story?

Some people might say Marsha was a fool for running from the police or trying to go to work in a deadly blizzard. Others might say she was smart. What would you say?

After Eve walked in on them, how did you feel when Marsha went on to the movie with Jay as though nothing had happened? Did your feelings about this change as her story progressed?

Marsha told Jay, “I’m glad we were married. I’m a better person because of you.” What do you think she meant by “a better person,” and why did she credit Jay? Do you think she was right?

How did you react to the sudden appearance of Claire? Why do you think Marsha named her? Can you think of situations when you’ve had a “Claire” in your life?

What are your observations about the role of memories and their impact on the arc of this book?

Marsha tells us, “By the time I married Jay, I was self-aware and emotionally strong—someone who could handle things.” Does this ring true to you? What were some of the stumbling blocks and steppingstones of her evolution over time?

What were your initial feelings about Peter and Jay? How did these feelings change over the course of the book?

How did you react to the last four paragraphs of the book? Did you expect—or want—a different ending?

What does the title, The Wrong Calamity, mean to you?

What incidents in the book did you particularly respond to? Did you draw any lessons or inspirations from this book that you’ll carry with you?

If you had the opportunity to speak with her, what would you want to ask or tell Marsha?

The Wrong Calamity Book Club Questions PDF

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