The Only Jew In The Room

After 24 years of service in the Israel Defense Forces and the Civil Administration, Lt. Colonel Avi Shalev (Ret.) set out to experience the Arab world from a different perspective—by studying Arabic and Education at Al-Qasemi College.

As the first Jewish student at this Arab Islamic (Sufi) college located in the Arab Israeli town of Baqa al-Gharbiyye, Shalev gained an intimate view of Israel's Arab Palestinian society. Through vivid journal entries, he introduces us to the many young women and men who studied alongside him—learning of their hardships, personal strengths, hopes and dreams, as well as their resentments, struggles with identity, and ambivalence toward Israel as a Jewish state.

The Only Jew in the Room reveals the complex human connections formed when two cultures meet with openness instead of fear. Shalev candidly addresses traumas, ideological divides, and the desire for a shared future where both Jews and Arabs can thrive in Israeli society.

This enlightening memoir provides a nuanced look at the lesser-known side of Arab-Jewish relations in Israel. At its heart is the belief that mutual understanding paves the path forward.

The Only Jew in the Room is Shalev's insightful first book.

This discussion guide was shared and sponsored in partnership with Dartfrog Books.

Book club questions for The Only Jew In The Room by Avi Shalev

Use these discussion questions to guide your next book club meeting.

Avi’s book was published in Hebrew in 2019. In his foreword to the English translation, which came out in 2023, he describes Israel as “a country and a people forever changed as are our hopes for a peaceful coexistence.” Do you think your reaction to the book would have been different if you had read it prior to October 7th? How would it have been different?

Avi Shalev writes about his decision to study Arabic at Al-Qasemi College and the various people – friends and family – who tried to talk him out of it. What personal attributes led Avi to study there? Would you have done the same in his circumstances? Can you relate Avi’s decision to a time when you took a similar risk by venturing into an unfamiliar or even hostile environment?

Avi is surprised by his fellow students’ reactions to various issues. These range from some female students’ refusal to have any contact with him whatsoever (in contrast to others who are warm and welcoming) to the move of the U.S. Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem to one student’s refusal to attend a lecture by a renowned Lebanese writer. Did you share his surprise in these instances? Did you develop a new understanding of Israeli Arabs’ views on these issues? In what ways?

Avi’s classroom experiences often remind him of prior interactions with Israeli Arabs – whether contractors working on his property or a successful businessman negotiating a deal with the government. What did you learn or take away from these glimpses of Avi’s life before his time at the college?

Avi discusses the distinction between colloquial and classical Arabic, injecting some humor when he imagines a conversation on the show Breaking Bad if it were expressed in “classical” English. He also describes the resulting difficulties Israeli Arabs have when competing with Israeli Jews on examinations. Have you experienced similar difficulties in your own life or that of others when spoken language and written language differ? Do you see any solutions that Avi may not have touched on?

Much of Avi’s book is about the kindness of his fellow students, their sincere efforts to help him in his studies, and his equally sincere efforts to understand their culture. At the same time, some of Avi’s insights about Muslim university students – not at Al-Qasemi but, for example, at Birzeit University – seem sadly prophetic . In discussing Amal Dunqul’s poetry of resistance, Avi describes Birzeit U students reacting to one of Dunqul’s poems “as if hostility toward the Jewish state is the foundation of their identity.” Did you come away from the book feeling more or less hopeful about increased understanding between Jews and Arabs in Israel? What aspects of the book contribute to a sense of hope? And what to its opposite?

Some Israeli Arab voices we hear in the book are strongly self-critical of life in Arab homes, schools, and communities. They speak of parents and teachers not respecting children’s views or questions and point to corruption, theft and brutal treatment of women and girls in many towns and communities. Did this self-criticism among Israeli Arabs surprise you? Do you feel your attitudes towards them have changed as a result of reading the book? In what ways have they changed?

Do you believe Avi’s fellow students changed their behavior around him? He clearly wanted (and needed) some degree of acceptance to thrive at Al-Qasemi. Is there evidence that they wanted him to accept them? And, in particular, to understand and appreciate their views?

In his Afterword, Avi writes: “The gift of meeting and studying together helped overcome most of my fears and stereotypes that I held as a Jew who grew up in Israel and served in the Defense Forces for many years.” Did Avi’s quest to better understand Israeli Arabs – whether from reading the Quran or delving into classical Arabic poetry or visiting (or attending) their places of learning – make you want to learn more about Arabic and Muslim culture?

One extraordinary scene in the book takes place not at Al-Qasemi College but when Avi and his father-in-law participate in a tour of the Temple Mount tunnels sponsored by Al Quds university. In response to one of Avi’s questions, the guide says “As far as politics is concerned, there was no Jewish temple here. . . . People live their lives in reality. . their political reality. You can’t expect politicians and the public to speak and think like historians.” What can we expect of ourselves and our public officials when it comes to the intersection of history and politics?

The Only Jew In The Room Book Club Questions PDF

Click here for a printable PDF of the The Only Jew In The Room discussion questions