The Courage to Be Disliked

Labor is one way we come to feel useful and worthwhile, and therefore happy. What aspects of your work give you a sense of fulfillment? Do some aspects of your labor detract from your happiness?

Share how you plan to cast a spotlight on the here and now. What sort of action plan can you make to focus on living in the present moment?

Were you surprised, comforted, and/or fascinated to read that “there is no such thing as a 100 percent person” (page 210)? How can you actively acknowledge this fact to yourself, as the philosopher suggests?

Like the youth, do you feel determined from the outset to reject the philosopher’s theories? Why might that be?

“Everyone wishes they could change,” the youth says on page 8. Do you agree? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

What “equipment” do you possess? Assess how successfully, on a scale from 1–10, you are using your equipment to bring happiness to your life in this moment?

The Second Night: All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems

Do you find it comforting to hear that it is “basically impossible to not get hurt in your relations with other people” (page 51)? Why or why not?

Describe a time when your own feeling of inferiority acted as a kind of launchpad to change or move forward in your life.

Do you agree that love is the most difficult life-task? Why do you think so?

Answer the philosopher’s question: why does one want to be praised by others? (page 116

The philosopher offers the following definition of freedom on page 144: “freedom is being disliked by other people.” How would you define freedom?

Do you have the courage to be disliked? Or do you know anyone in your life who seems to? If so, do their relationships or yours seem “things of lightness” (page 146) as the philosopher suggests?

From where in your life do you derive a sense of community feeling?

Is your life worth living because you are of use to someone? Consider how we manifest this worth—think of the jobs we take, the places we chose to live, or the experiences we accept or decline.

The philosopher offers the youth the same advice Adler offered once: “someone has to start” (page 194). That is, to create a meaningful life, a sense of community, it must begin with you regardless of what others around you are doing. How practical do you find this advice? What are concrete ways you might begin to “start”?