Never a Girl, Always a Boy

Jeremy Ivester is a transgender man. More than thirty years ago, his parents welcomed
him into the world as what they thought was their daughter. As a child, he preferred
the toys and games our society views as masculine. He kept his hair short and wore
boys’ clothing. They called him a tomboy. That’s what he called himself.

By high school, when he showed no interest in flirting, his parents thought he might be
lesbian. At twenty, he wondered if he was asexual. At twenty-three, he had top surgery
to remove breast tissue. A year later, he began taking the hormones that would
lower his voice and give him a beard―and he announced his new name and pronouns.

Once a Girl, Always a Boy is Jeremy’s journey from childhood through coming out
as transgender and eventually emerging as an advocate for the transgender community.
This is not only Jeremy’s story but also that of his family, told from multiple
perspectives―those of the siblings who struggled to understand the brother they
once saw as a sister, and of the parents who ultimately joined him in the battle against
discrimination. This is a story of acceptance in a world not quite ready to accept.

This discussion guide was shared and sponsored in partnership with Jo Ivester

Book club questions for Never a Girl, Always a Boy by Jo Ivester

Use these discussion questions to guide your next book club meeting.

What does it mean to be transgender?

How might you know if a child is transgender? (Look up the characteristics as defined by the American Psychiatric Association: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria

Could someone be transgender and you don’t know it? Check out the photo at the start of this article (https://www.texasobserver.org/trangender-student-dan-patrick/). It has been shown at public hearings in Texas and people asked if they can identify which of the four girls shown walking away from the camera is transgender. (Hint: You have a 25% chance of guessing correctly.)

When did you first know your own gender? Do you feel as if you’ve always known it?

How would you respond to knowing that a classmate’s gender is different from the way they were identified at birth, i.e., to someone who is transgender?

What might Jo and Jon have done differently as parents if they’d recognized earlier that Jeremy is transgender?

What are the differences between sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression? (https://www.glsen.org/activity/learning-empowerment-and-self-identification) Also: https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/summer-2015/sex-sexual-orientation-gender-identity-gender-expression

Do you believe that transgender students should have access to the restrooms of the gender with which they identify? Locker rooms? Sports teams? Dorm rooms?

Should your school be able to develop its own rules or should there be federal guidelines and/or laws? (https://www.adl.org/education/resources/tools-and-strategies/beyond-the-binary-discussing-transgender-and-gender-non)

Watch a video about Jeremy’s transition journey. https://www.equalitytexas.org/transtuesday-jeremy-ivester/

What can you as an individual do differently, now that you are more aware of what it means to be transgender? Or, if you are transgender, how can your classmates be supportive?

How do we have to change as a society to support the entire spectrum of transgender individuals?

Never a Girl, Always a Boy Book Club Questions PDF

Click here for a printable PDF of the Never a Girl, Always a Boy discussion questions

“...a heartwarming story that anyone with a complicated life and identity can relate to. A multifaceted, rich, and moving exploration of the trans experience.”

―Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“A must-read in today’s political environment, this courageous book demonstrates how to fight prejudice and embrace acceptance.”

―Steve Adler, Mayor of Austin

“Beautifully written and vulnerable...a must-read.”

―Emmett Schelling, executive director of the Transgender Education Network of Texas

“This is a story of how acceptance happens.”

―Mara Keisling, founder and executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality

“This book will save lives...This is the book I wish I could have read when I was on my own journey of self-discovery.”

―Sam Slate, member of the National Board of Directors of the Human Rights Campaign

“Told in frank and warm-hearted terms with a touch of humor, this gripping tale will stay with its readers for years to come.”
―Forrest Preece, Columnist, West Austin News