Love You a Latke

Significant themes in both the story of Hanukkah and the story of this book are assimilation and fighting against a greater power or society that wants you to change important parts of yourself in order to fit in. The stakes might be drastically different in each story, but they both end with an anti-assimilation message. Do you agree with this message and how Abby handled her disputes with Lorna?

While the bulk of the book’s action takes place in New York City, both main characters prefer their home in small-town Vermont. What are some of the positives and negatives of living in the city, and same for a small town? Which do you prefer?

When Abby first hears about Freya, Seth’s ex, she’s wary and thinks their relationship will be a cold and perhaps antagonistic one. By the end, they’re quite close friends, meaning Abby’s first impression is proven wrong. When was a time you’ve changed your mind after a first impression, whether it was about a book or something that happened in real life?

As the book discusses, food plays a large role in many Jewish holidays. Aside from Hanukkah and its (delicious) fried menu, what are some other real-world examples of when specific foods play important roles, whether it’s for a holiday, an event, or an occasion? What do you think makes these particular foods such vital markers or participants in the examples you’ve named?

Bev says that one of the reasons she and her husband have had such a long successful marriage is that their differences complement each other and help challenge them to become better people. She thinks the same is true of Abby and Seth. What do you think? When you look at your relationships with romantic partners, close friends, or family members, do you think that’s true of your life?

Abby is adamant for most of the book that her relationship with Seth and his family has not changed her, but she admits by the end that she’s wrong. How did you see her change over the course of the book, and do you think her changes are for the better? How about Seth’s evolution over the course of the book?

The thread of Abby’s relationship with her parents is not neatly resolved by the end of the book—she does not tell them off in a cathartic way, and they do not come around to understand all the pain they’ve caused her. How do you feel about this part of the ending? Do you think she handled it the right way? Do you think they will ever meet again?

Imagine an epilogue that takes place during Hanukkah five years after the close of the book. Where do you think all of the characters are now, and why?