Love and Other Words

In the prologue, Macy thinks back on watching her parents interact as a child, noticing the way they would hug each other, noticing the totality of their love: “It never occurred to me that love could be anything other than all-consuming. Even as a child, I knew I never wanted anything less” (p. 2). In what ways do you think Macy’s parents’ marriage is a sort of paradigm for Macy’s future relationships? Does this desire for an “all-consuming” love color her decision to take things slow with Elliot initially? Do you think it impacts her decision to marry Sean? How so?

When Macy and Elliot run into each other in the coffee shop, Macy feels excitement and dread simultaneously, claiming “I’ve wanted to see him every day. But also, I never wanted to see him again” (p. 26). How does the contradiction of this statement relate to the novel’s theme of love? Do you think falling in love might also be described as both wonderful and terrible?

Discuss the structure of the novel. How does the movement from past to present impact your understanding of Macy and Elliot? Do you feel more sympathetic to Macy’s decision in light of seeing her both as a child at the start of a relationship and as an adult in its aftermath? Why or why not?

In an early email exchange, Macy writes to Elliot the following postscript: “No one here understands that I just want to be another girl at school not the kid whose mom died and who needs to be treated like she can break. Thanks for just saying stuff and not acting like it’s all taboo” (p. 82). Connect this notion to the title. How do words shape Elliot and Macy’s relationship? Do you agree that it is through the power of words that the two discover what it means to love?

Despite the fact that Macy’s mother is deceased for the entirety of the novel, her presence looms large. It is her list that inspired the purchase of the Healdsburg house to begin with, the catalyst that sets Macy and Elliot on their journey. Discuss Macy’s mother as a character. In what ways do you find her haunting the pages of the novel? Can you find other instances where she impacts the choices the characters make?

Discuss Macy’s career choice. Do you think her decision to care for sick children is a result of her losing her parents so young? About her losing the love of her life?

When Macy first gets her period, she reads a letter from her mother, who writes, “You are my masterpiece” (p. 121). In what ways does Macy heed her mother’s advice and care for her body? In what ways does she disregard her mother’s wish to care for herself?

Macy muses on page 136 that her dad “made a good living . . . but what we could never buy was chaos and bustle.” Why do you think Macy is so attracted to the Petropoulos family? Is it that opposites attract, or is it something more?

A possible definition of love emerges on page 205 after Macy begins to reconsider her life with Sean. “I’m terrified of what I’m feeling,” she says. “I feel like I’ve just woken up.” As someone who loves words, why do you think Macy finds it so difficult to articulate how she feels?

Loss plays a central role in Love and Other Words. Discuss the different kinds of loss that occur in the novel. Do all the characters handle loss similarly, or does “pressing down the familiar bubble of need” (p. 228) seem unique to Macy’s character?

Answer Elliot’s question to Macy on page 236: “Are you staying because of Phoebe?” If not, why does Macy stay in a relationship with Sean for so long?

The scene Macy walks into on that fateful New Year’s Eve stands in stark contrast to the scene years later at Elliot’s brother’s wedding when the two friends say “I love you” face-to-face for the first time (p. 336). What other examples of contrasts can you think of in the novel? Consider Macy’s family, Elliot’s family, Sean, Elliot, and the past versus the present in your response.

Revisit the scene where Macy reveals what happened in the hours after she found Elliot passed out with Emma. Why do you think it took her so long to find the words to tell Elliot this story, the story he so desperately needed to hear?

Why does Elliot want “to move past this closet” (p. 395)? Do you agree with Elliot that you can’t go backward and that the key to happiness is moving forward?