Ejaculate Responsibly

In a series of 28 brief arguments, author Gabrielle Blair deftly makes the case for moving the abortion debate away from controlling and legislating women’s bodies and instead directs the focus on men’s lack of accountability in preventing unwanted pregnancies. Highly readable, accessible, funny, and unflinching, Blair builds her argument by walking readers through the basics of fertility (men are 50 times more fertile than women), the unfair burden placed on women when it comes to preventing pregnancy (90 perscent of the birth control market is for women), the wrongheaded stigmas around birth control for men (condoms make sex less pleasurable, vasectomies are scary and emasculating), and the counterintuitive reality that men, who are fertile 100 percent of the time, take little to no responsibility for preventing pregnancy. The result is a compelling and convincing case for placing the responsibility—and burden—of preventing unwanted pregnancies away from women and onto men.

This discussion guide was written and shared by Workman Publishing.

Book club questions for Ejaculate Responsibly by Gabrielle Stanley Blair

Use these discussion questions to guide your next book club meeting.

Think for one minute: How would your life be different if you didn’t have to worry about pregnancy, regardless of your sexual activity? Are there any specific, practical changes you would make to your daily, weekly, or monthly routines? Would it free up any mental/emotional stress or bandwidth? Note how responses might differ depending on the gender makeup of your group.

What would the consequences be for women if the burden of preventing pregnancy was simply taken off the table? Would this change if you were a man? Or if you are a man, would this change if you were a woman?

If your group is composed of men and women, do they respond differently to the arguments made in the book? If your group is all women, how do you think men would respond to this book? If your group is all men, how do you think women would respond to this book?

What is your response to the book in general? What arguments, anecdotes, or passages stick out?

Think for one minute: Is it fair to say that men cause all unwanted pregnancies? Doesn’t it “take two to Tango?” (Note: This is a default initial criticism leveled by someone unfamiliar with the arguments in Ejaculate Responsibly.)

Our legal framework is focused on abortion, but Blair makes a case that if we focus much more on responsible ejaculation, abortion will take care of itself. Do you agree? Is responsible ejaculation a better focus than abortion? Why or why not?

The last chapter is titled “This is how to take action.” In light of the arguments in this book, what are meaningful actions we could take now or in the near future? What would it look like if our educational, legal, and political systems embraced the ideas of this book? What would it take to make this a reality? How do we take a meaningful step in that direction?

How does the book leave you feeling? Hopeful? Angry? Excited? Fearful? Some combination or something else entirely? What would you say are the key reasons for your emotional response(s) to this book?

How (if at all) would your life have been different if the arguments of Ejaculate Responsibly were commonly accepted years ago?

What statistics or figures were new to you or surprised you?

What (if any) preconceptions or biases did you learn you had over the course of reading Ejaculate Responsibly?

Ejaculate Responsibly Book Club Questions PDF

Click here for a printable PDF of the Ejaculate Responsibly discussion questions

"Blair’s fresh reframe should be required reading for any person who has sex, wants to have sex or is raising someone who might have sex in the future.

This slender book has what it takes to be the foundation for a movement."—Washington Post

"Flashes of acerbic humor and eye-opening statistics bolster Blair’s common-sense case. This polemic has the power to change minds."—Publishers Weekly

"Slim but mighty tome."—Booklist