Your Erroneous Zones
THE RECORD-BREAKING, #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER – OVER 35 MILLION COPIES SOLD
The first book by Wayne Dyer, author of the multimillion-copy bestseller Pulling Your Own Strings and national bestsellers There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem and Wisdom of the Ages, a positive and practical guide to breaking free from the trap of negative thinking and enjoying life to the fullest.
If you're plagued by guilt or worry and find yourself unwittingly falling into the same old self-destructive patterns, then you have "erroneous zones" – whole facets of your approach to life that act as barriers to your success and happiness.
Perhaps you believe that you have no control over your feelings and reactions – Dyer shows how you can take charge of yourself and manage how much you will let difficult times and people affect you. Or maybe you spend more time worrying what others think than working on what you want and need – Dyer points the way to true self-reliance. From self-image problems to over-dependence on others, Dyer gives you the tools you need to break free from negative thinking and enjoy life to the fullest.
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Community Reviews
While I do reference some sections of the book, I don't feel they are spoilers as it's not a "story" to be ruined. But if you are one that doesn't like to know details, then only the first two paragraphs are free of that.
Weirdly, this book might have served me a "little" better (or done more damage) if I had read it when I first learned of it rather than after life experiences changed the course of my life both good and bad and led me to the person I am today. The person I am today wonders if it would have helped younger me, but the person of today also thinks this book wasted a lot more of my time now than I would have liked. Overall, this book is 1.5 stars as it's not the worst psychobabble I've read and you can always tell when a psychologist writes a book, it "sounds" good on paper, but in reality, ha, I think this would actually be the end of humanity not the beginning.
This book was recommended to me once upon a life-time ago by my then boss who was 6 years older than me. I was just 16, so a 22 year-old recommending a book seemed like a big deal. Him being in a position of power and respect, I was wondering why it would be so important and I bought the book since I couldn't borrow it from the library. My mother had a fit about it, which I didn't understand until I realized she said erogenous and not erroneous. Being a Baptist family I could see how the first version would NOT be a good idea, but knew little of the second. However, even after I explained it was different she wanted the book returned. Not sure if they wouldn't take it back or if the book was just forgotten about as I recently came across it in my stack of unread books in a box that I was trying to cull. The person who recommended it to me passed on at a very young age so in that thought I decided to plow through the book even as I laughed at some of the ideas! I disagree on so many things in this book, but in the name of my lost boss-friend, I'm glad I finished it so I could use it for starting my fire this winter!
Page 102, my thoughts here were that he really must have hated his parents and his mother in particular. I don't know much about him and in the era of Internet, I could certainly look up stuff, but don't feel like wasting any more time on this author. As a 16 year-old at the time this was recommended I could see myself falling into this "trap". As an adult who now has the experience of being a parent, I find his commentary ridiculous! While in some cases it may be true, in most it's not and the comment about "designed to make you feel guilty for Mama's bad marriage," I can see that from TWO sides. Yes, my mother blamed me all the time (that's why 16 year-old me would have ate this up) My mother "got pregnant" with me and "had to marry" my dad because of me, I was told this ALL the time. So, yes, essentially she was exactly blaming me for having to marry my dad, even though I realize that in no way was it my fault, I didn't "make" her have unwed/unprotected sex, that was her choice not mine, but she blamed me my entire life, even into adulthood. However, that said, the beginning of his comment, "I stayed married to your father because of you,..." that does NOT scream to me about making the child feel guilty for the bad marriage, it says that SHE made the child more important that her, that the child's needs came first. No where does it say she blames the child. One only has to realize that children are born selfish, they have to be to get their needs met, it's just the way life in general works, kind of the "squeaky wheel concept". However, it is the parents job to guide and teach their children to survive in life as much as how things work. This seems more like a teaching moment of the sacrifices that had been made for the child and the child was not aware, is it right, who's to say in individual situations, but it doesn't scream guilt, it seems more like making someone aware of life, plain and simple. Or maybe not so simple, but still this guy comes across as hating his parents and being especially so towards his mother as a lot of the negative throughout the book seems pointed at mothers or women. Yes, there were men, but the balance seems a bit off. Maybe it's the time period he wrote it in the late 70s but he's claiming one thing about independent thinking and seeming like he's not totally buying his own product.
Skip on through some more annoying sections to page 158 where he bashes etiquette -- so then apparently selfishness that he is promoting here is what we should all strive to achieve? This is a problem not a solution. The world is already full of selfish people, why add more? Humans are generally all about themselves (even the ones that aren't, have moments...in a situation of you or the other guy they would hope the other guy would "get it" if it's something bad, but hope they themselves "get it" if it's something good, sadly that is just human nature, on the other hand put danger in the way of a mother's child and she will come between that danger and her offspring). Etiquette bashing doesn't solve anything and it isn't 'blind obedience' it's called being human and learning to respect other humans. His way would lead to the demise of humankind!
Typical "should behavior" page 165 - when reading a book, always start at page one and read every word to the end, even if half of it doesn't apply -- LOL!!! I have tossed books that I don't like, unfortunately I cannot then rate them as I didn't finish them and my perspective would be skewed only on the content read and no idea if it improved or got worse. In the case of this book there were MANY times I wanted to toss it out, but as I had read a number of pages I wanted to be able to give it a proper review and 'forced' myself to get through it in the name of "learning" and research. It had nothing to do with having already reading "half of it so having to finish it", and more on the how can I give this horrible book a proper review if I bash it based on the first 5 pages? LOL! I may not have to care whether or not other's agree or disagree with my review, but more that I myself am not so closed minded that I cannot learn something that may not be the same as my view. Did I learn something, maybe a few things reinforced my belief and maybe a few things made me look at things in a different way. Something that would not have happened if I tossed the book at the first thought of how horrible and "erroneous" his thinking is! Final thoughts in most instances he seems to confuse TRADITIONS with RULES. They are not one and the same, but he would have you believe they are by the allusion of "be an independent thinker" don't blindly follow... eh, as my own independent thinking person, I choose to believe he's full of hot air, and that "most (not all)" rules are to make our lives better so we can "live together" for this short time we walk the earth, and that traditions are something that help you stay connected to family and are constantly changing as the family grows, if they don't then change them, but rules aren't for breaking and they aren't the same as traditions. If a 'rule' doesn't work for 'you' doesn't mean it's wrong for society as he suggests!
Would I recommend this book? Not to anyone I know. As a person exploring humans, maybe, but they may already be 'required reading' for their psych class anyway.
Weirdly, this book might have served me a "little" better (or done more damage) if I had read it when I first learned of it rather than after life experiences changed the course of my life both good and bad and led me to the person I am today. The person I am today wonders if it would have helped younger me, but the person of today also thinks this book wasted a lot more of my time now than I would have liked. Overall, this book is 1.5 stars as it's not the worst psychobabble I've read and you can always tell when a psychologist writes a book, it "sounds" good on paper, but in reality, ha, I think this would actually be the end of humanity not the beginning.
This book was recommended to me once upon a life-time ago by my then boss who was 6 years older than me. I was just 16, so a 22 year-old recommending a book seemed like a big deal. Him being in a position of power and respect, I was wondering why it would be so important and I bought the book since I couldn't borrow it from the library. My mother had a fit about it, which I didn't understand until I realized she said erogenous and not erroneous. Being a Baptist family I could see how the first version would NOT be a good idea, but knew little of the second. However, even after I explained it was different she wanted the book returned. Not sure if they wouldn't take it back or if the book was just forgotten about as I recently came across it in my stack of unread books in a box that I was trying to cull. The person who recommended it to me passed on at a very young age so in that thought I decided to plow through the book even as I laughed at some of the ideas! I disagree on so many things in this book, but in the name of my lost boss-friend, I'm glad I finished it so I could use it for starting my fire this winter!
Page 102, my thoughts here were that he really must have hated his parents and his mother in particular. I don't know much about him and in the era of Internet, I could certainly look up stuff, but don't feel like wasting any more time on this author. As a 16 year-old at the time this was recommended I could see myself falling into this "trap". As an adult who now has the experience of being a parent, I find his commentary ridiculous! While in some cases it may be true, in most it's not and the comment about "designed to make you feel guilty for Mama's bad marriage," I can see that from TWO sides. Yes, my mother blamed me all the time (that's why 16 year-old me would have ate this up) My mother "got pregnant" with me and "had to marry" my dad because of me, I was told this ALL the time. So, yes, essentially she was exactly blaming me for having to marry my dad, even though I realize that in no way was it my fault, I didn't "make" her have unwed/unprotected sex, that was her choice not mine, but she blamed me my entire life, even into adulthood. However, that said, the beginning of his comment, "I stayed married to your father because of you,..." that does NOT scream to me about making the child feel guilty for the bad marriage, it says that SHE made the child more important that her, that the child's needs came first. No where does it say she blames the child. One only has to realize that children are born selfish, they have to be to get their needs met, it's just the way life in general works, kind of the "squeaky wheel concept". However, it is the parents job to guide and teach their children to survive in life as much as how things work. This seems more like a teaching moment of the sacrifices that had been made for the child and the child was not aware, is it right, who's to say in individual situations, but it doesn't scream guilt, it seems more like making someone aware of life, plain and simple. Or maybe not so simple, but still this guy comes across as hating his parents and being especially so towards his mother as a lot of the negative throughout the book seems pointed at mothers or women. Yes, there were men, but the balance seems a bit off. Maybe it's the time period he wrote it in the late 70s but he's claiming one thing about independent thinking and seeming like he's not totally buying his own product.
Skip on through some more annoying sections to page 158 where he bashes etiquette -- so then apparently selfishness that he is promoting here is what we should all strive to achieve? This is a problem not a solution. The world is already full of selfish people, why add more? Humans are generally all about themselves (even the ones that aren't, have moments...in a situation of you or the other guy they would hope the other guy would "get it" if it's something bad, but hope they themselves "get it" if it's something good, sadly that is just human nature, on the other hand put danger in the way of a mother's child and she will come between that danger and her offspring). Etiquette bashing doesn't solve anything and it isn't 'blind obedience' it's called being human and learning to respect other humans. His way would lead to the demise of humankind!
Typical "should behavior" page 165 - when reading a book, always start at page one and read every word to the end, even if half of it doesn't apply -- LOL!!! I have tossed books that I don't like, unfortunately I cannot then rate them as I didn't finish them and my perspective would be skewed only on the content read and no idea if it improved or got worse. In the case of this book there were MANY times I wanted to toss it out, but as I had read a number of pages I wanted to be able to give it a proper review and 'forced' myself to get through it in the name of "learning" and research. It had nothing to do with having already reading "half of it so having to finish it", and more on the how can I give this horrible book a proper review if I bash it based on the first 5 pages? LOL! I may not have to care whether or not other's agree or disagree with my review, but more that I myself am not so closed minded that I cannot learn something that may not be the same as my view. Did I learn something, maybe a few things reinforced my belief and maybe a few things made me look at things in a different way. Something that would not have happened if I tossed the book at the first thought of how horrible and "erroneous" his thinking is! Final thoughts in most instances he seems to confuse TRADITIONS with RULES. They are not one and the same, but he would have you believe they are by the allusion of "be an independent thinker" don't blindly follow... eh, as my own independent thinking person, I choose to believe he's full of hot air, and that "most (not all)" rules are to make our lives better so we can "live together" for this short time we walk the earth, and that traditions are something that help you stay connected to family and are constantly changing as the family grows, if they don't then change them, but rules aren't for breaking and they aren't the same as traditions. If a 'rule' doesn't work for 'you' doesn't mean it's wrong for society as he suggests!
Would I recommend this book? Not to anyone I know. As a person exploring humans, maybe, but they may already be 'required reading' for their psych class anyway.
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