This Is How It Always Is: A Novel

New York Times Bestseller
The Reese Witherspoon x Hello Sunshine Book Club Pick

“Every once in a while, I read a book that opens my eyes in a way I never expected.”
—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club x Hello Sunshine book pick)

People Magazine’s Top 10 Books of 2017
Bustle’s 17 Books Every Woman Should Read From 2017
PopSugar’s Our Favorite Books of the Year (So Far)
Refinery29's Best Books of the Year So Far
BookBrowse’s The 20 Best Books of 2017

Pacific Northwest Book Awards Finalist
The Globe and Mail's Top 100 Books of 2017
Longlisted for 2019 International DUBLIN Literary Award

“It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think.” —Liane Moriarty, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Big Little Lies


This is how
a family keeps a secret…and how that secret ends up keeping them.

This is how a family lives happily ever after…until happily ever after becomes complicated.

This is how children change…and then change the world.

This is Claude. He’s five years old, the youngest of five brothers, and loves peanut butter sandwiches. He also loves wearing a dress, and dreams of being a princess.

When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.

Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They’re just not sure they’re ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it’s about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again, parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts, children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don’t get to keep them forever.

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336 pages

Average rating: 7.93

577 RATINGS

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Community Reviews

Sherre
Apr 17, 2025
9/10 stars
This is a great BookClub book! It gives insight into what the family of a transgender child goes through.
Denise Mcstev
Mar 06, 2025
9/10 stars
Interesting story about a family with a secret that affects everyone. Hopeful yet devastating and then hopeful again. I cared a lot about the main characters and wanted everything to turn out well for them.
Anonymous
Aug 21, 2024
10/10 stars
I laughed, cried, and really, really thought. This book brought so many wonderful questions to my mind about the state of life in general. I would recommend it for anyone.
Cvonbgn
May 10, 2024
10/10 stars
A beautiful story.
brittshank91
Mar 25, 2024
10/10 stars
This book clearly (and not so clearly, in its own way) described what it’s like to be “in the middle”. Other. Not quite fitting in box A or B and there’s no other option. It’s a reminder that sometimes, family is all you have, and sometimes, people you think you can trust will betray you. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. You can always adjust, pivot, and continue building your path, whatever that may look like.

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