The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead (Zen of Zombie Series)
The world of the The Walking Dead meets the Ram Das Deepak Chopra crowd in this hilarious parody of self-help manuals. Learn how to slow down and move at your own pace, become your own boss, and just devour those irritating people who get in your way.
Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take heart: you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.
And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents includes:
Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.
“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful creatures: the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”
Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take heart: you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.
And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents includes:
- The 24 Habits of Highly Effective Zombies
- Slow Down! (You Move Too Fast)
- Be Your Own Boss
- Strength in Numbers
- No Credit Letting Go of Your Ego and Adopting a Zombie’s Spirit of Cooperation
- And much more!
Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.
“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful creatures: the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”
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Community Reviews
Do you enjoy "literature" written by a frat boy? If you can answer yes to this question, then this might be a good fit. It is painfully juvenile and unsophisticated. I get that Kenemore was trying to convey an easy, conversational tone, but for me lines like "Zombies have your back, bruh." make this a conversation I would never want to actually have. Let's assume, for the sake of making this micro-review a bit longer, that you find this particular, er, gauche to your liking, you then have the hurdles of casual misogyny and homophobia. Fine, you say, I'm down with a little good old fashioned chauvinism and sexism sprinkled in with the graceless and unpolished prose. Ah, but then there is the editing. Or rather, lack of editing. Perhaps Kenemore's particular zombies don't care to answer the question of how to unravel the their/they're/there quandary. Maybe his zombies edited his book. Still, you say, I only care about funny. I want funny zombies. Read the first chapter. You'll get a few laughs. After that...no. Kenemore just beats you over the head with the same few jokes over and over and over. Still not a deal killer? You like endless repetition and monotony? You have kids and they tell you the same knock-knock jokes all day, every day and you enjoy it? That still leaves the premise: being a zombie. Sorry, I don't want to /be/ a zombie. I want to be the survivor killing the zombies. I can understand wanting to be a vampire, a werewolf, an elf (Drow of course, because those sylvan elves are just weak.), an ogre, a shambling swamp creature, but no one wants to be a zombie... In conclusion, if I could unread this book I would.
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