The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World, Second Edition

In this moving guide, a gay man shares his personal journey of letting go of shame and moving forward with self-compassion and healing.

Even though an entire generation of men have openly and freely come out of the closet, gay men still struggle with self-acceptance. Sexually transmitted diseases, depression, and suicide occur more frequently for gay men than straight men. It doesn't have to be this way.

Through brave individual stories and compassionate analysis, The Velvet Rage explores how shame is insidious, and can be traced back to childhood feelings of "otherness". Drawing on contemporary psychological research, Alan Downs offers a path to emotional well-being and an end to self-defeating behavior.

Velvet Rage is an empowering book you'll wish you read long ago. It's not too late to begin the healing process.

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Published Jun 5, 2012

272 pages

Average rating: 7.67

30 RATINGS

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Community Reviews

Tom W.
May 23, 2025
6/10 stars
This was once an influential work within the LGBT community. but much has changed during the last twenty years. Today the emphasis is on celebrating "pride," not overcoming "shame" (the premise of the book). The revised chapter 14, the most important one according to the author, contains some two dozen strategies for living an authentic life, but they are pretty generic and would be true for anyone -- male or female, gay or straight, black or white. Not a bad text at all and probably still useful for many, but I myself felt a little underwhelmed by it.

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