The Meaning of Mariah Carey
The Instant #1 New York Times Bestseller
The global icon, award-winning singer, songwriter, producer, actress, mother, daughter, sister, storyteller, and artist finally tells the unfiltered story of her life in The Meaning of Mariah Carey
It took me a lifetime to have the courage and the clarity to write my memoir. I want to tell the story of the moments - the ups and downs, the triumphs and traumas, the debacles and the dreams, that contributed to the person I am today. Though there have been countless stories about me throughout my career and very public personal life, it’s been impossible to communicate the complexities and depths of my experience in any single magazine article or a ten-minute television interview. And even then, my words were filtered through someone else’s lens, largely satisfying someone else’s assignment to define me.
This book is composed of my memories, my mishaps, my struggles, my survival and my songs. Unfiltered. I went deep into my childhood and gave the scared little girl inside of me a big voice. I let the abandoned and ambitious adolescent have her say, and the betrayed and triumphant woman I became tell her side.
Writing this memoir was incredibly hard, humbling and healing. My sincere hope is that you are moved to a new understanding, not only about me, but also about the resilience of the human spirit.
Love,
Mariah
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Community Reviews
“Being Mariah Carey is a job–my job…It’s always a different story with me…I didn't think the world owed me anything. I simply believed I would conquer the world I was born into, in my own way.” The Meaning of Mariah Carey “is a story of betrayal and beauty. Of love and abandonment. Of sacrifice and survival…my journey…has been full of contradictions and competing realities. It’s never been only black-and-white–it’s been a whole rainbow of emotions…I survived. I survived the danger. I survived the hunger. I survived the uncertainty and instability, and now here I was, every day coming closer and closer to my destiny.”
“I went to that place of hope. This is hard right now, I told myself, it’s a struggle, but I’ll make it through, no matter what. And I was stronger than ever on the other side. And though darkness followed, it was in that darkness that I learned to build my own light…There is nothing more powerful than surviving a trip to hell and coming home covered in the light of restoration…Having a family in God brought me back to my life in the Light…Returning to God was the only way I made it out of all my trips to hell.” For better or worse, the Lambily are family!
“‘Don't ever write anyone off.’ You don't ever know where strength will come from. I always go to my main source for strength —faith in God, but also love from…the people who didn't give up on their faith in me…There is no ‘Dreamlover’ coming to rescue me and no Prince Charming or Joe DiMaggio to sweep me off my feet. I got swept away by a shortstop, but only God Almighty is my All.”
“This memoir is a collection of the moments that matter, the moments that most accurately tell the story of who I am, according to me. It [moves] back and forth, up and down, moment to moment, adding up to the meaning of me now.” Her life was a metamorphosis; her autobiography is a magnum opus! A must read!
This book is definitely for all The Lambily, out there. This is a tell-all memoir of her struggles and how she overcame them, victoriously.
âOnce I got my deal I exhaled, and my life began... I live Christmas to Christmas, celebration to celebration, festive moment to festive moment, not counting my birthday or ages.â p xiii
In this autobiography, we find her to be lost and guides her real self to safeguard herself to protect herself. She never felt like she belonged anywhere. Her mother is very light-skinned. Her father is dark. Both her sister and brotherâs skins are browner. She felt like an intruder within her own family. She's more whimsy and fantasy whereas they made little room for it. They had darker and angrier souls whereas she is the light.
Music was Mariah's escape. It calmed her down amongst the yelling and chaos. Her mother, Patricia, was a Juilliard-trained opera singer. She is the one who did voice scales and Mariah learned how to sing opera in Italian at the age of three.
Her happiest times were with her mother, Patricia. Her siblings (Morgan and Alison) hated her because they get she had everything they could have. Her brother was broken at Ann early age. He raged all the time. Her sister was terribly jealous of Mariah. Christmas was the only time they came over to Mom's house after their parentsâ divorce. While it was filled with anger and silence, at least they were all together at the table. She always loved the feeling of the old-time Christmas, even though she never had a good one. She loved getting things ready for it even add she knew she and her mom can't afford much. Her first husband, Tommy Mattola, encouraged her to make her first Christmas album, Merry Christmas.
â... Iâve always been a tragically sentimental person, and Christmas time embodies that sentimentality for me. I wanted to write a song that makes me happy and makes me feel like a loved, carefree young girl at Christmas⦠I also believe that somewhere inside I knew it was too late to give my brother and sister peace, and my mother her wonderful life, but I could possibly give the world a Christmas classic instead.â p21
She saw her father only on Sundays. He was in the army and he kept the house in perfect order. When he was in the army, he got arrested because she woman said a black man raped her. He was black so they arrested him. Many years later, they found the right man and he was theses from prison. He was broken but thankfully, he didn't kill himself.
âI followed my heart, while he was guided by his fear of not being accepted.â p31
Her ritual Sundayâs father, Alfred Roy went from weekly ritual to sporadic after Allison, her sister moved out. They became estranged from each other with him always comparing her making Mariah's accomplishments not seem as worthy.
Alison was Mariah's older sister. They had a contemptuous relationship. All Mariah ever wanted was a living big older sister. Alison got pregnant, married, and went to the Philippines to live with her new husband. Soon she came back home to live but she came back differently. She showered Mariah with juice boxes, fitted bras, and fixed Mariah's hair. Alison introduced Mariah to different experiences such as drugs like valium, and cocaine, a whore house where her man, John lived. His name was ironically named John as he was Alison and the other girls who lived there âJohn.â Alison even gave Mariah a phone line where they would talk but mostly because Alison was suicidal. Alison in one of her fits of rage went from laughing to purposefully throwing a cup of hot tea at Mariah's back, causing third-degree burns.
Her mother's relationship started to crumble when she was age 14. Suddenly, Mariah's the competition. As they both sang in the car, her mother remarried, âYou should only hope that one day you become half the singer I am.â That deeply hurt Mariah. Afterward, upon self-reflection, she realized her mother often neglected her. Her mother, Pat, didn't understand how to take care of a small child (nutrition or hygiene). Mariah often excused her mom declaring it's the bohemian lifestyle.
Mariah talked about her life living from a shack to shack houses when she lived with her mother. By then, her mother had to throw her son, Morgan out because he was upset that she wouldnât lend him her only car so he picked her up and literally threw her against the wall. Little Mariah saw this and dialed her motherâs friend when Mariahâs mother, Pat, did not move.
Life was tough but Mariah proved to be a survivor, as she was growing older. She always held focus on the prize, which is to get a record deal and make music. She was constantly composing and singing back up or singing jingles for money to raise money and cut demos. Eventually, came the famous party where she and Tommy Mottola locked eyes, and âhe looked right into her soul.â After her friend gave Tommy Mattola, Mariahâs only demo tape, thankfully he listened to it and tracked her down and the rest is history if you are a fan of hers. The Lambily is what Mariah Carey calls her fans, lovingly.
Life was not as idyllic as you would have thought after she literally went from rags to a princess. She often referred to herself as a princess in Sing Sing, the famous jail. Her every move was monitored. She started to realize everyone around her worked for Tommy Mattola and many, back then, feared him. She later broke free, thanks to falling in lust love with Derek Jeter. She spoke about the heartache going from Derek Jeter to the Latin lover, Luis Miguel, who she dubbed the Latin Elvis. Mariah even covered how the infamous ânervous breakdownâ that happened was mistakenly called a nervous breakdown but in reality, she was âbroken downâ due to lack of sleep for six straight days with two hours of sleep during those days. She goes into detail about how her mother, Pat suddenly conspired with her brother, Morgan, to conspired against Mariah with Morgan, to get $5,000 to âhelp get rid of Patâs husbandâ and âmake him disappearâ and âdonât ask questions for your own good.â This is all after Mariah cut a huge record deal with Virgin records. When Mariah kept seeing her motherâs eyes glued to Morgan to await what to say and how to act, Mariah stated she felt they were trying to trap her. She stated when she ran outside upset and exhausted from lack of sleep, and feeling they were trying to conspire to get her money, her brother Morgan later tricks her into going to a âspaâ and admitting herself to the âspaâ she later wakes up to find she signed herself to a hospital under the psychiatric care. She only got released because the World Trade Centers were burning and crashing: 9/11 happened.
She manages to gloss over a lot of things that may shed a negative light on what happened that readers are genuinely interested in, such as what conversations did she have when Tommy Mattola share when he visited her hospital during she admitted herself. Why she would allow herself to be talked into going along with her brother and mother if she wrote they kept exchanging âconspiratorial glances.â I understand she was a victim a lot of times but she never took accountability for anything. I mean literally, she paints herself as the saint in every chance she gets. I get that itâs her memoir but Iâve read other autobiographies where they took accountability and state matter of factly, âI f@cked up.â and they move on. Itâs life and we the audience actually relate better to that and see them more humanized. Itâs not that we are the pharaohs circling for blood but when you paint yourself to be holier than thou, expect people to sigh and roll their eyes. Hence, itâs a hard three.
A light read that you can get through within a day if you are truly a fan.
âOnce I got my deal I exhaled, and my life began... I live Christmas to Christmas, celebration to celebration, festive moment to festive moment, not counting my birthday or ages.â p xiii
In this autobiography, we find her to be lost and guides her real self to safeguard herself to protect herself. She never felt like she belonged anywhere. Her mother is very light-skinned. Her father is dark. Both her sister and brotherâs skins are browner. She felt like an intruder within her own family. She's more whimsy and fantasy whereas they made little room for it. They had darker and angrier souls whereas she is the light.
Music was Mariah's escape. It calmed her down amongst the yelling and chaos. Her mother, Patricia, was a Juilliard-trained opera singer. She is the one who did voice scales and Mariah learned how to sing opera in Italian at the age of three.
Her happiest times were with her mother, Patricia. Her siblings (Morgan and Alison) hated her because they get she had everything they could have. Her brother was broken at Ann early age. He raged all the time. Her sister was terribly jealous of Mariah. Christmas was the only time they came over to Mom's house after their parentsâ divorce. While it was filled with anger and silence, at least they were all together at the table. She always loved the feeling of the old-time Christmas, even though she never had a good one. She loved getting things ready for it even add she knew she and her mom can't afford much. Her first husband, Tommy Mattola, encouraged her to make her first Christmas album, Merry Christmas.
â... Iâve always been a tragically sentimental person, and Christmas time embodies that sentimentality for me. I wanted to write a song that makes me happy and makes me feel like a loved, carefree young girl at Christmas⦠I also believe that somewhere inside I knew it was too late to give my brother and sister peace, and my mother her wonderful life, but I could possibly give the world a Christmas classic instead.â p21
She saw her father only on Sundays. He was in the army and he kept the house in perfect order. When he was in the army, he got arrested because she woman said a black man raped her. He was black so they arrested him. Many years later, they found the right man and he was theses from prison. He was broken but thankfully, he didn't kill himself.
âI followed my heart, while he was guided by his fear of not being accepted.â p31
Her ritual Sundayâs father, Alfred Roy went from weekly ritual to sporadic after Allison, her sister moved out. They became estranged from each other with him always comparing her making Mariah's accomplishments not seem as worthy.
Alison was Mariah's older sister. They had a contemptuous relationship. All Mariah ever wanted was a living big older sister. Alison got pregnant, married, and went to the Philippines to live with her new husband. Soon she came back home to live but she came back differently. She showered Mariah with juice boxes, fitted bras, and fixed Mariah's hair. Alison introduced Mariah to different experiences such as drugs like valium, and cocaine, a whore house where her man, John lived. His name was ironically named John as he was Alison and the other girls who lived there âJohn.â Alison even gave Mariah a phone line where they would talk but mostly because Alison was suicidal. Alison in one of her fits of rage went from laughing to purposefully throwing a cup of hot tea at Mariah's back, causing third-degree burns.
Her mother's relationship started to crumble when she was age 14. Suddenly, Mariah's the competition. As they both sang in the car, her mother remarried, âYou should only hope that one day you become half the singer I am.â That deeply hurt Mariah. Afterward, upon self-reflection, she realized her mother often neglected her. Her mother, Pat, didn't understand how to take care of a small child (nutrition or hygiene). Mariah often excused her mom declaring it's the bohemian lifestyle.
Mariah talked about her life living from a shack to shack houses when she lived with her mother. By then, her mother had to throw her son, Morgan out because he was upset that she wouldnât lend him her only car so he picked her up and literally threw her against the wall. Little Mariah saw this and dialed her motherâs friend when Mariahâs mother, Pat, did not move.
Life was tough but Mariah proved to be a survivor, as she was growing older. She always held focus on the prize, which is to get a record deal and make music. She was constantly composing and singing back up or singing jingles for money to raise money and cut demos. Eventually, came the famous party where she and Tommy Mottola locked eyes, and âhe looked right into her soul.â After her friend gave Tommy Mattola, Mariahâs only demo tape, thankfully he listened to it and tracked her down and the rest is history if you are a fan of hers. The Lambily is what Mariah Carey calls her fans, lovingly.
Life was not as idyllic as you would have thought after she literally went from rags to a princess. She often referred to herself as a princess in Sing Sing, the famous jail. Her every move was monitored. She started to realize everyone around her worked for Tommy Mattola and many, back then, feared him. She later broke free, thanks to falling in lust love with Derek Jeter. She spoke about the heartache going from Derek Jeter to the Latin lover, Luis Miguel, who she dubbed the Latin Elvis. Mariah even covered how the infamous ânervous breakdownâ that happened was mistakenly called a nervous breakdown but in reality, she was âbroken downâ due to lack of sleep for six straight days with two hours of sleep during those days. She goes into detail about how her mother, Pat suddenly conspired with her brother, Morgan, to conspired against Mariah with Morgan, to get $5,000 to âhelp get rid of Patâs husbandâ and âmake him disappearâ and âdonât ask questions for your own good.â This is all after Mariah cut a huge record deal with Virgin records. When Mariah kept seeing her motherâs eyes glued to Morgan to await what to say and how to act, Mariah stated she felt they were trying to trap her. She stated when she ran outside upset and exhausted from lack of sleep, and feeling they were trying to conspire to get her money, her brother Morgan later tricks her into going to a âspaâ and admitting herself to the âspaâ she later wakes up to find she signed herself to a hospital under the psychiatric care. She only got released because the World Trade Centers were burning and crashing: 9/11 happened.
She manages to gloss over a lot of things that may shed a negative light on what happened that readers are genuinely interested in, such as what conversations did she have when Tommy Mattola share when he visited her hospital during she admitted herself. Why she would allow herself to be talked into going along with her brother and mother if she wrote they kept exchanging âconspiratorial glances.â I understand she was a victim a lot of times but she never took accountability for anything. I mean literally, she paints herself as the saint in every chance she gets. I get that itâs her memoir but Iâve read other autobiographies where they took accountability and state matter of factly, âI f@cked up.â and they move on. Itâs life and we the audience actually relate better to that and see them more humanized. Itâs not that we are the pharaohs circling for blood but when you paint yourself to be holier than thou, expect people to sigh and roll their eyes. Hence, itâs a hard three.
A light read that you can get through within a day if you are truly a fan.
While I loved learning more about her, I did not like how disjointed it was. The very first line of the preface is, "I refuse to acknowledge time, famously so." The end of the preface says, "This memoir is a collection of the moments that matter, the moments that most accurately tell the story of who I am, according to me. It will move back and forth, up and down, moment to moment, heading up to the meaning of me now." But it's written more like a biography from birth to now, with occasional, random stories thrown in that seem pointless. I'm still glad I read it; I just didn't like the flow.
I really loved her story, I’m a big fan. She is literally a very strong person to go through what she did and survive.
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