Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir

I’m sorry but no. First of all I didn’t like the writing style of jumping from one topic to the other. There was no consistency between one paragraph and the next which muddled the story at times. Second of all I’m not sure what was the point of emphasizing her father’s crime in the synopsis when she barely discusses it throughout the book. In fact she just glosses over the fact that her father’s crime was done onto her by someone she learned to trust. She never asked her father about his crime which I thought took away from the story. I wanted to like it but just wasn’t for me.

This memoir was such an eye opening look into a life nothing like how I grew up with elements of things I did encounter. The way Ashley told her story of wanting to be a "good girl" and fighting the bad choices within, coupled with growing up with her father in prison while her mother did her best to raise three children as a single mom, then to the young adult mind of coping with her father's mistakes, loss and the always evident longing to be seen as Somebody's Daughter was utterly delightful. She was playful at times and serious when her recollections called for it. Her pain reverberated in the words and made you feel for the young girl that experienced life so differently than many. I would recommend this book as a look into a life that allows you to understand and be compassionate for those around you. It truly gives you that sense of be kind to people, as you never know what they are going through behind closed doors.

I finished this book this evening and I’m going to try to sit with it a bit longer. I’ve tried to investigate who Ashley is outside of this book, and why I am certain I’m familiar with her, but keep coming up empty. This memoir was a hard read at times, but definitely a worthwhile reading. BRB, still processing.

I really dread rating memoirs, as I generally try to be a nice person and giving somebody's pouring out of heart and soul less than five stars makes me feel like a real jerk.

A couple of things I really loved about this:

• This was well written. Ashley Ford's writing is smooth, inviting, and captivating. I read this book in one day. This was after I had already finished the last half of another book that morning. Dishes sat in the sink. Laundry was completely ignored. Lunch didn't happen until late afternoon...and even then it was me shoveling forkfuls of Strawberry Spinach salad over the book while still reading. Yes, that is an oily dressing spot on page 58.

• The vulnerability. I believe that you have to have a good amount of vulnerability to write a memoir (because clearly I am an expert on this - ha ha ha). This memoir puts a lot out there - painful experiences with family, relationships, body image, men/rape culture. Some of these people may have not been tickled to be written about in this light but there was an emphasis on finally being able to feel free and speak her own truth. And yet it was done with consideration to show love for family and that perhaps they are not bad people but instead people who did bad things.

A couple of things I didn't love quite as much:

• It's a little disjointed. I think there is just a lot going on here. There is the relationship with her mother and her grandmother and her father. There is childhood. There is puberty and the (disgusting) things young women (really all women) have to deal with as their bodies change and develop. There are toxic relationships with boys/men. There are good friendships. There is education and careers and self-awareness and growth. This isn't a terribly long memoir, so this was a lot to pack in, which made it feel a little all over the place at times or like there would be a huge focus on a certain age and then a huge leap to another that left me wondering what happened in between (because I was nosy invested).

• I had a hard time believing everything in the beginning of the book. The details were extremely clear for being such a young age. Now it is entirely possible that I just have a below average memory where I can't remember detailed conversations from before I was old enough to go to school and she does have the ability to do that, but it kept distracting me. I think this is a common thing in memoirs, however. I understand that they likely aren't verbatim. So this is not a big criticism but just something I needed to get off my chest.

Moving on...



This may seem like a random photo. And it sort of is. But let me explain.

I have a pen holder cup thingamabob on my kitchen island that I keep a large assortment of bookmarks in. I grabbed this bookmark with the Phantom of the Opera (I have not even read it yet) quote without thinking about it and before I knew anything about this book. As I read, I realized how perfectly matched it was to what I was reading. Ashley looks for love and acceptance (mostly that crucial self-acceptance) throughout the entire book. And that's something we can all identify with.

I'd definitely pick up anything else Ashley Ford puts out there.

4 Stars

This was a good, quick read memoir too. I have a copy if anyone wants to read.