Pack Up the Moon

Kristan Higgins says Pack Up the Moon is "probably the most important book that I've written because it is about life and death and love and loss. I don't believe that you ever recover from a loss. You either become slammed into the earth by it and stuck or you learn how to carry it. And you get stronger and stronger; not that the burden gets lighter but that you get stronger. I wanted to write, almost like a how-to book and how do you get over one of the greatest losses you can experience."

In the hands of a less-skilled writer, Pack Up the Moon could be depressing, sappy or, worse, both. But Higgins elevates the topic into a story that is neither. Rather, Pack Up the Moon, while undeniably gut-wrenching, is charming, poignant, and uplifting.

Higgins employs alternating narratives to effectively tell the story of a young couple who, after a disastrous first meeting several years earlier, run into each other again and instantly click. Lauren was a twenty-six-year-old public space designer who lost her father suddenly when she was just twenty. She writes letters to him as a way to keep him in her life, presented by Higgins in reverse chronological order. The book opens with a missive written on Valentine's Day, just eight days prior to her death at the age of twenty-eight. It begins, "I'm dying, my husband is going to be a widower, and this has been the most wonderful year of my life. How's that for surprising?"

Third-person narratives focused on Joshua or Lauren relate their second meeting, courtship, marriage, and how Lauren's physical symptoms led to the devastating diagnosis: idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, a terminal disease with no cure that gradually fills the lungs with scar tissue, choking off the healthy portions of the organs and constricting breathing. Lauren's condition is particularly cruel, not just because it normally strikes much older people and patients have an average life expectancy of three to five years. Joshua is a biomedical engineer who designs medical devices, and he becomes obsessed with either creating a device or finding a drug trial to kill the destructive fibers that will eventually claim his wife's life by depriving her of oxygen. Experimental drugs, Chinese herbs, and an organic diet, combined with a traditional medical approach, failed to slow the disease's progression. Joshua, on the autism spectrum, created and patented a medical device at the age of only eighteen, and sold it for a staggering ten million dollars. But his failure to save his own wife understandably causes him to feel guilt and anger.

In addition to his intellectual prowess and success in his field, Joshua is also handsome and clever, but socially awkward. He fails to pick up social cues and conversation is difficult. But Lauren finds him irresistible and asks him on a date when they meet again at a time when she has matured, largely because of the pain of losing her father and working hard to establish her own career. Higgins portrays a relationship between them that is believable, punctuated with the kind of banter that characterizes intimate partnerships. Lauren encourages Joshua to do things that he finds challenging by lovingly referring to him as "loser." And when Lauren refuses to wallow in despair, pointing out the good things in her life, Joshua quotes Red in The Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living, or get busy dying," to which she replies, "Don't you Shawshank me!" Lauren understands that Joshua tends to be a hermit, completely immersed in his work, and his mind shutters at most social events, so she gently manages him, completely enamored because of his gentle, considerate nature, and self-awareness that causes him to ask her to explain things to him that he fails to perceive or observe. For Joshua, Lauren is a perfect mate -- beautiful, intelligent, accomplished, and thoroughly in love with him, to his unending amazement.

Higgins surrounds Joshua and Lauren with an equally credible cast of supporting characters. Donna is Lauren's self-centered, but loving mother; Stephanie, Joshua's mother, raised him alone after his biological father abandoned both of them when she was pregnant; Jen and Darius, Lauren's sister and brother-in-law, and their two young children mean the world to both Lauren and Joshua; and Sarah, Lauren's best friend, confounds Joshua. He always detected jealousy on Sarah's part -- her dating relationships are always short-lived. But she has been loyal and supportive throughout Lauren's illness, and Lauren even thinks Sarah might be an ideal second wife for Joshua. There is also Radley, the new best friend Joshua acquires because of Lauren's project. Each character loves and cares for Joshua, and helps him accept their affection and support as they prove that they will stand by Joshua and remain in his life even though Lauren is gone.

When Joshua assures Lauren that he will not be all right without her, she knows that she has to complete one more project before she dies, but it does not involve designing a public space. Rather, it's a project she is sure her father would approve. "A person had to plan for the future, after all. Even if she wouldn't be there for it." So she writes twelve letters to Joshua, and asks Sarah to deliver them to him, one per month for the first year following her death. And in those letters, she not only reaffirms her love for Joshua and the life they were able to share oh-so-briefly. She gives him assignments, designed to propel her husband into the next phase of his life, confident that he will do exactly what she asks of him. As the months go by, Joshua must venture out of the house to shop for clothing, invite family and close friends over for dinner, consult a psychic, and buy himself a new bed and couch. As the year progresses, Lauren's directives require increasing amounts of courage because they involve more expansive changes in Joshua's life. The results of Joshua's efforts are frequently hilarious, even, at times, to Joshua. Often, they are heartbreaking. And each month, he discovers more about himself and his abilities. He even makes a couple of new friends. Through Joshua's travails, Higgins credibly illustrates the emotional quagmire he navigates in the wake of Lauren's death. He is angry that Lauren's life was cut short, guilty that he could not save her, frightened by the daunting prospect of living many more years without her, and forced out of his comfort zone -- which is, basically, staying in the condo in the same clothes for days, watching television, and eating unhealthy food he has delivered. But he is determined to honor his late wife's wishes, even though she is no longer physically present to hold him accountable. And that characteristic further endears Joshua to readers.

Through the letters Lauren spent her last days writing, Higgins compassionately demonstrates the depth of Lauren's love for her husband, and her bravery. Higgins strove, through Lauren, to portray a woman who resolves to "say, even though I have a terminal illness and I know my life will be much shorter, I'm going to have the best year ever. I really loved that idea that you can be so full of happiness and joy, without being really sappy, but you can just make that decision of, '"This is the hand that was dealt to me and this is what I'll do with it.'" Pack Up the Moon succeeds in no small measure because Lauren is likable, and her relationship with Joshua credible. Higgins has crafted fully formed, layered characters who are fallible, flawed, and thoroughly human. But earnestly committed to making the needs and happiness of their spouse a priority. Because of that, Higgins compels her readers to mourn Lauren with Joshua . . . and cheer him on as he tackles the increasingly difficult challenges Lauren presents him. Until, at last and inevitably, she releases him to enjoy the rest of his life.

Pack Up the Moon is an entertaining, engrossing, and life-affirming homage to facing adversity with courage and learning how to carry heartbreak. Following a devastating loss, even though the burden does not get lighter, it is possible to grow stronger, especially if, like Joshua, you are supported by someone who loves you unconditionally . . . and forever.

Thanks to NetGalley for an Advance Reader's Copy of the book.

The book was so good and not predictable so I loved that! It was also a real reality kind of book that it could happen to anyone and how to overcome darkness with love and patience

Sad, but so meaningful. Grab your tissues, this book made me cry more than any other.

Highly recommend. Absolutely loved this book and the raw depiction of grief, moving on, and love that outlasts our own humanity. Dual perspectives in opposite timelines give a panoramic view of the story. So, so good, and it absolutely made me stay up until 4 am to finish it as I bawled my eyes out.

Do not read this book if you are not prepared to cry through at least 50% of it. But wow. I loved it so much. Such a great ending. It's all character driven so if you are a plot based kind of person - this book would not be for you.