I want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki

The New York Times bestselling therapy memoir translated by International Booker shortlistee Anton Hur.

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?

ME: I don't know, I'm-what's the word-depressed? Do I have to go into detail?


Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her-what to call it?-depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work, but the effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is the first book in a duology to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.

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Published Nov 1, 2022

208 pages

Average rating: 6.41

56 RATINGS

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Community Reviews

Gias_BookHaven
Dec 30, 2025
9/10 stars
TBA
JShrestha
Dec 03, 2025
10/10 stars
I really liked this book as "those who never face the darkness can never face the light" and "everyone absorbs and hears things differently at different times in their life". Following as an observer to a therapy session between a patient and their therapist, the reader hears the vulnerability and honesty of the patient in their insecurities and neurosis of their everyday life and choices. With the response of reflection, insight and mindset, the reader gets a change of perspective and hope for a different voice in their ear.
Rayna
Sep 28, 2024
7/10 stars
I think I would’ve enjoyed this more if I’d read it versus listening to the audiobook, but nonetheless it was a gentle, thought-provoking ride through the author’s experience of seeking mental health care. I appreciated the format - back and forth dialog of her therapy sessions - because when do we ever get to sit in on someone else’s therapy! Nothing too wild, nothing too depressing, relatable inner thoughts; last two chapters were a nice wrap-up.
Earthy
Jul 27, 2023
10/10 stars
I found myself relating heavily to the author. Importance on self love and how critical we can be to ourselves.
Ratzilla
May 17, 2023
6/10 stars
Thought provoking and liked aspects of it.

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