How to Break Up with Your Friends: Finding Meaning, Connection, and Boundaries in Modern Friendships

Create space for meaningful connections and set healthy boundaries with this much-needed guide to modern-day friendship.

Friends hold an especially valuable role for women—few relationships have such power to fuel us and inspire our joy. Yet even though we pride ourselves on our large networks, we tend to be afraid of rocking the boat and asking for what we really need. As a result, we end up accepting mediocrity in ourselves and our friendships far too often.

But does it really have to be this way?

In How to Break Up with Your Friends, celebrated life mentor Erin Falconer provides a refreshing guide to modern-day friendships—along with deeper principles, assessments, and practices for nurturing them.

“This book is about so much more than going through your contact list with a machete,” writes Erin. “Yes, you’ll learn how to detox yourself from friendships that no longer nourish you, but you’ll also explore the astounding importance of modern friendships and how to be a truly great friend yourself.”

With clear-eyed guidance and a good dose of humor, Erin will help you:

• Take stock of those currently in your life so you can see exactly how you and your friends are serving each other
• Understand how your earliest friendships impact your current relationships
• Explore the importance of having healthy friendships—including the many ways we’re influenced by our friend groups
• Know the main types of friendships we form, the roles they play in our lives, and how to deepen the most essential ones
• Recognize the signs you’re in a toxic friendship and stop fearing constructive confrontation
• Rupture and repair—be ready when a valuable friendship hits the rocks
• Learn how to make new friends as an adult
• Have the courageous conversations needed when it’s time to “break up” with others

With a wealth of revelations and tools—including the Six Pillars of Friendship, the Friendship Diagnosis, and sample scripts to help facilitate the hard conversations—How to Break Up with Your Friends is the relationship book you didn’t know you needed.

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Published Jan 18, 2022

240 pages

Average rating: 5.5

2 RATINGS

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Community Reviews

Rambling Reader
Mar 08, 2025
3/10 stars
This is a must read for anyone who has been treating friendships passively. The world needs vocabulary around the complex variety of friendships, and Falconer does a fantastic job of covering all of the bases with how we can invest in all of our relationships with the intention and care that they deserve. However... I was looking specifically for the topic on “breaking up” with friends. Could I have looked deeper than the cover and noticed that there is only 1 chapter at the end on breakups, and the rest is about cultivating and maintaining friendships? Sure. The beginning of the breakup chapter solidified my suspicion that this book was never meant to actually address its I title’s topic. She's telling a friend about this book she was writing, and the friend jumps in with a true breakup story. Falconer explains, “up to that point, I had considered a friendship breakup more in the metaphorical sense. I hadn’t conceptualized an actual breakup.” How did she decide to write a book on breakups, while not believing in breakups? What metaphor was she aiming for? The chapter on breaking up (and its homework) is detailed, but I think there could be a more intentionally written book on the nuances of breaking up with friends, and this book left me wanting after luring me in with a title that was possibly meant to grab attention rather than describe its content.

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