Gender Queer: A Memoir
2020 ALA Alex Award Winner
2020 Stonewall -- Israel Fishman Non-fiction Award Honor Book In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. "It's also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." -- SLJ (starred review)
2020 Stonewall -- Israel Fishman Non-fiction Award Honor Book In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. "It's also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." -- SLJ (starred review)
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Community Reviews
iâm struggling to rate this book. i think it really disappointed me because i heard so much good about it, and i was excited to read a book about someone who uses the term genderqueer! there arenât many popular books at all that talk about gender outside of the binary.
i also heard this was a banned book and i assumed it was due to the gender theory discussed in it. iâm 100% sure thatâs a part of the reason but weâll come back to thisâ¦.
the book begins with the author describing eir childhood and i thought it was nice. showing that weird moment as a kid when you realize there are boys vs girls and different things are expected of each⦠real and relatable
as e grows thereâs discussion of different possible labels for sexuality and gender. for some reason thereâs never discussion of romanticism (?). like e says e doesnât care about relationships and doesnât understand what they give someone⦠but thereâs never mention of aromanticism. iâm just thinking of the responsibility a book like this has to the (probably young!) audience itâs often reaching. yes itâs a memoir, but this is also many peoples first exposure to a lot of these ideas!
on a related note, there were some moments in this book that REALLY gave me pause. you choose what to put in your memoir, and e put a weird sexual thing with eir sister, shipping real people, and shipping incest⦠i want to know, why? maybe i just didnât understand the intended audience, but letâs just say: i understand why this book is banned! TO BE CLEAR, i donât think it should be banned, but there should definitely be an minimum age on it (also because there are some explicit drawings that iâm not sure kids need to be exposed to) because younger readers may not understand why those things arenât okay or at least require some nuance and lots of reflectionâ¦
it sucks because this couldâve been a great book to introduce the concepts of gender and the gender binary to younger people (iâm thinking around middle school especially, when many go through puberty). i know itâs a memoir and i wish it doesnât have a responsibility to be more than that. but this is the world we live in. this isnât a concept that is understood by a lot of people, and in writing this book, e couldâve reached those people. i fear that it may have actually done the opposite.
which brings me to the ending. itâs⦠not happy. itâs not even hopeful. and for queer readers who are just discovering themselves, that could be devastating. i wish e had at least imagined a world where everything is ideal, rather than left it on such a low note.
if it resonated with you, helped you, or made you happy in any way, iâm very happy for you! but i wish it had been a lot more, and it didnât really connect with me
rating: 2.5 rounded down, disappointed
i also heard this was a banned book and i assumed it was due to the gender theory discussed in it. iâm 100% sure thatâs a part of the reason but weâll come back to thisâ¦.
the book begins with the author describing eir childhood and i thought it was nice. showing that weird moment as a kid when you realize there are boys vs girls and different things are expected of each⦠real and relatable
as e grows thereâs discussion of different possible labels for sexuality and gender. for some reason thereâs never discussion of romanticism (?). like e says e doesnât care about relationships and doesnât understand what they give someone⦠but thereâs never mention of aromanticism. iâm just thinking of the responsibility a book like this has to the (probably young!) audience itâs often reaching. yes itâs a memoir, but this is also many peoples first exposure to a lot of these ideas!
on a related note, there were some moments in this book that REALLY gave me pause. you choose what to put in your memoir, and e put a weird sexual thing with eir sister, shipping real people, and shipping incest⦠i want to know, why? maybe i just didnât understand the intended audience, but letâs just say: i understand why this book is banned! TO BE CLEAR, i donât think it should be banned, but there should definitely be an minimum age on it (also because there are some explicit drawings that iâm not sure kids need to be exposed to) because younger readers may not understand why those things arenât okay or at least require some nuance and lots of reflectionâ¦
it sucks because this couldâve been a great book to introduce the concepts of gender and the gender binary to younger people (iâm thinking around middle school especially, when many go through puberty). i know itâs a memoir and i wish it doesnât have a responsibility to be more than that. but this is the world we live in. this isnât a concept that is understood by a lot of people, and in writing this book, e couldâve reached those people. i fear that it may have actually done the opposite.
which brings me to the ending. itâs⦠not happy. itâs not even hopeful. and for queer readers who are just discovering themselves, that could be devastating. i wish e had at least imagined a world where everything is ideal, rather than left it on such a low note.
if it resonated with you, helped you, or made you happy in any way, iâm very happy for you! but i wish it had been a lot more, and it didnât really connect with me
rating: 2.5 rounded down, disappointed
What an amazing story! I loved the honesty in the story and in the illustrations. The author has such an amazing family, it gave me chills. Not everyone in their situation has such support, and I am glad they had it.
The story answered so many questions, and I would recommend it to anyone who has friends or family questioning their sexuality. Actually, I would recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about the topic, or is even willing to learn. Such a wonderful story!
The story answered so many questions, and I would recommend it to anyone who has friends or family questioning their sexuality. Actually, I would recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about the topic, or is even willing to learn. Such a wonderful story!
Read this book if you want to increase your understanding and empathy for any non-binary friends, family, and community members. This book gives me hope for the openness of my children’s generation to allow people to be who they were born to be. Very quick read with an approachable graphic novel format.
It was nice to see someone else had many of the same thoughts and feelings about their body that I had growing up. I kind of wish I could find out what happened with the class/school after Maia told them about the pronouns and things.
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