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Dirty Laundry: Why Adults with ADHD Are So Ashamed and What We Can Do to Help
An empowering and witty guide to banishing shame and living your fullest life with ADHD—plus tips for loved ones on helping them navigate this world, too—from viral duo ADHD_Love.
What if you stopped feeling ashamed of constantly being late or of getting so hyperfocused on a task that you drop everything else you had to do? How can you as a partner, parent, or friend better understand your neurodivergent loved one’s way of moving through the world?
In Dirty Laundry, life partners Rich Pink and Rox Emery unapologetically guide you through the ups and downs of life with ADHD. Every chapter starts with a common symptom of ADHD, like impulsivity or struggles with finances, and an earnest moment from their own lives to show you how they navigate the symptom together. Rox reminds you to be kind to yourself and love yourself for who you are; Rich offers tips on how he uses compassion and honesty instead of jumping to conclusions. Whether it's helping your ADHDer with friendly time-checks before an appointment or reminding yourself to take breaks during hours spent hyperfocusing on a new project, Rox and Rich give you the tools to destigmatize and normalize life with ADHD.
What if you stopped feeling ashamed of constantly being late or of getting so hyperfocused on a task that you drop everything else you had to do? How can you as a partner, parent, or friend better understand your neurodivergent loved one’s way of moving through the world?
In Dirty Laundry, life partners Rich Pink and Rox Emery unapologetically guide you through the ups and downs of life with ADHD. Every chapter starts with a common symptom of ADHD, like impulsivity or struggles with finances, and an earnest moment from their own lives to show you how they navigate the symptom together. Rox reminds you to be kind to yourself and love yourself for who you are; Rich offers tips on how he uses compassion and honesty instead of jumping to conclusions. Whether it's helping your ADHDer with friendly time-checks before an appointment or reminding yourself to take breaks during hours spent hyperfocusing on a new project, Rox and Rich give you the tools to destigmatize and normalize life with ADHD.
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Community Reviews
Unlike Rox, I was diagnosed as ADHD when I was young. My family suspected I had ADHD for a long time before I was professionally diagnosed at 12. However, there is this strange stigma around ADHD in the US due to over diagnosis where people seem to think ADHD is simply being loud, obnoxious, fidgety, unreliable, and never able to focus. Rox and Rich talk about the shame that having untreated and unaccommodated ADHD can damage a person’s self esteem and how we internalize other people’s beliefs about us, how we can make the mistake of attaching our self worth to these beliefs that others hold about us, etc. They talk about accommodations, coping mechanisms, feelings, and the importance of self validation. Rich also talks at length about all of the neurotypical relationship patterns he had to unlearn while being with Rox, and how responding differently to certain situations can be very helpful when you or your partner have ADHD. The also have a tiktok called ADHD_love if you want to check them out there first.
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