Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While also in an Actual Cult!)

I approach most celeb memoirs with a lot of suspicion, but honestly this one is pretty solid. There’s not a lot of fluff, it just tells the story in a very narrative fashion with interesting details about being in a cult while being on television in a very mainstream way (which as you can imagine is a unique perspective). It’s thoughtful and reflective without being too much.

For mind control to work, there has to be heroes and villains. It has to be us versus them. In a cult, it isn't good enough for you to say, "I love you, but I disagree with you." You must affirm my choices and beliefs. Only then can you be considered "safe." In a cult, safety means agreement. Bethany Joy Lenz tells the story of how her faith guided many of the choices she made in her young adult life, and what ultimately led to her becoming deeply entrenched in what she now knows was a religious cult. She details the double life she was living as a leading cast member of the hit show One Tree Hill and a member of "The Family", telling stories about her constant quest to find her place in the world and how that allowed her to be vulnerable and easily manipulated by the group's leadership. She shares post-trauma revelations about the moments she misinterpreted, the times she pushed people -- including her parents -- away, and the opportunities she lost or missed out on. She isolated herself from half of her double life, and, despite being surrounded by "Family", was isolated in the other half. She was desperate and confused. She was filled with doubts and was conflicted between instinct and loyalty to her faith. She endured psychological abuse, financial ruin, loss of important friendships, isolation from her parents, and a self-imposed-forced-marriage, but none of it mattered until she became a mother. It seems that motherhood switched on a light in her that others had been trying to turn on for a decade. Her voice throughout the book is surprisingly upbeat, quirky, and funny. The subject, however, is not quirky at all. If you are looking for anecdotes about her time on the show, you will not find that here. But she does draw the curtain back on what was going on in her private life while on that show. And she does it with as much openness as she is permitted (by her friends and former "Family" members), and with a remarkable capacity for forgiveness of herself. Terrifying darkness and shocking beauty coexist in everyone, and God doesn't wait for us to clean out all the bad before celebrating the good. It's scandalous, really - that kind of love. Unlike other reviewers of this book, I did not watch OTH. I know Ms. Lenz from my (not so) secret obsession with Hallmark Countdown to Christmas (if you know, you know). I think she is one of the most natural, funny and talented actresses out there; no one could ever guess the kind of trauma she has survived. So when this came on my radar, I was shocked and curious. It's a very interesting read.