Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

Will read again many times. This is a great resource as a personal study guide for sure.

PFS Book Club --- 20th Jan 2024 Today we reviewed book called “Crucial Conversations” by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler & Emily Gregory. Single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. We started with session asking what is crucial conversation? In book authors define crucial conversation when a) opinions vary, b) Emotions run strong, c) Stakes are significant. Authors have defined three steps on how to have crucial conversations a) What to do before you open mouth, b) How to open your mouth, c) How to finish. Some of the key concepts which authors have defined are as below: 1. State of dialogue---The authors introduce the concept of dialogue as a free flowing and open conversations. We have to avoid people going to silent (in this state people withhold information) and violent (forcing opinions). 2. Crucial Conversation framework ---This framework includes focusing on three areas --- content(what), relationship (Who) and results (How) 3. Start with heart --- It is essential to clarify what you really want and the what the other person wants. Intent is to deliver the true message with strengthening relationship. 4. Learn to Look --- Be aware of your and others verbal and nonverbal cues as signs of safety and danger can be identified from this. 5. Make it safe --- Create a safe environment for dialogue by establishing mutual purpose and respect. 6. Master my stories ---People tell themselves stories to make their version. Please question your stories and revise assumptions and create at least 3-4 possible stories so that perspectives and reactions can be improved. 7. Explore others paths ---- Encourage others to share their thoughts and feelings, be active listener and become curious when other person becomes furious and ask more open-ended questions to improve your perspectives. 8. Move to action --- Once a mutual understanding is reached, chalk out the action points by specifying who will do and by when and then periodic follow ups. We also discussed how to take tough feedback. Put all feedbacks in a bag, sort out what is true and discard balance. Ask questions and examples and just listen. Detach yourself from what is being said as it is being said about third person. If appropriate, reengage with the person who shared the feedback and acknowledge what you heard, what you accept and what you commit to do. Principles in this book are not only applicable in professional settings but also in personal relationships. As usual discussion meandered in to so many interesting points. Chandrashekhar, Shilpa, Ganesh and Surbhi shared many personal incidents which gave more understanding on certain points. Yet another amazing session😊