Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way
From the star of the Big Bang Theory and author of the #1 bestsellers Girling Up and Boying Up comes a real-world guide to attachment parenting—a book hailed by Dr. William Sears as “delightful” and by Ricki Lake as “a fantastic guide to birth and parenting that is packed with invaluable wisdom.”
Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn’t follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her PhD in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do—she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of the conventional wisdom she heard about the “right” way to raise a child. That’s when she turned to Attachment Parenting, a philosophy and lifestyle popularized by well-known physicians like Dr. William Sears and Dr. Jay Gordon.
To Mayim, Attachment Parenting’s natural, child-led approach not only felt right emotionally, it made sense intellectually and instinctually. She found that when she followed her intuition and relaxed into her role as a mother instead of following some rigid parenting script, both she and her children thrived. Taking into account her experience as a mother (and her scientific background), Mayim presents the major tenets of Attachment Parenting, including:
-Baby wearing: How to “wear” your baby in a sling or a wrap to foster a closer bond with your child—it’s possible even for mamas with bad backs (and with big babies)!
-Breastfeeding: Learn how to listen to your baby’s cues rather than sticking to a rigid schedule—and why people on airplanes love a nursing mother!
-Gentle discipline: How to get your child to behave without yelling, threats, or time-outs—it really is possible.
-Co-sleeping: How to avoid “sleep training” and get a great night’s sleep for the whole family.
Without the pretense and luxuries typical of so many Hollywood actors and parents, Mayim describes the beauty, simplicity, and purposefulness of Attachment Parenting, and how it’s become the guiding principle for her family. Much more than a simple how-to parenting guide, Beyond the Sling shows us that the core principles underlying Attachment Parenting are universal and can be appreciated no matter how you decide to raise your child.
Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn’t follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her PhD in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do—she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of the conventional wisdom she heard about the “right” way to raise a child. That’s when she turned to Attachment Parenting, a philosophy and lifestyle popularized by well-known physicians like Dr. William Sears and Dr. Jay Gordon.
To Mayim, Attachment Parenting’s natural, child-led approach not only felt right emotionally, it made sense intellectually and instinctually. She found that when she followed her intuition and relaxed into her role as a mother instead of following some rigid parenting script, both she and her children thrived. Taking into account her experience as a mother (and her scientific background), Mayim presents the major tenets of Attachment Parenting, including:
-Baby wearing: How to “wear” your baby in a sling or a wrap to foster a closer bond with your child—it’s possible even for mamas with bad backs (and with big babies)!
-Breastfeeding: Learn how to listen to your baby’s cues rather than sticking to a rigid schedule—and why people on airplanes love a nursing mother!
-Gentle discipline: How to get your child to behave without yelling, threats, or time-outs—it really is possible.
-Co-sleeping: How to avoid “sleep training” and get a great night’s sleep for the whole family.
Without the pretense and luxuries typical of so many Hollywood actors and parents, Mayim describes the beauty, simplicity, and purposefulness of Attachment Parenting, and how it’s become the guiding principle for her family. Much more than a simple how-to parenting guide, Beyond the Sling shows us that the core principles underlying Attachment Parenting are universal and can be appreciated no matter how you decide to raise your child.
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Community Reviews
I like Mayim Bialik so I really wanted to like this book. I believe in some of the attachment principals, though my kids sleep in their own beds in their own rooms, they seem mostly content with it. When my kids were babies, I did pretty much take the approach that "their wants are their needs" and they're developing well now.
But there were some serious problems with this book. Most notably, she casually mentioned she decided not to vaccinate her children. This is a problem. Unlike most other parenting decisions vaccination is not a decision that affects just you and your family, it's a societal issue because many vaccines work through herd immunity, especially for the immune-compromised children. So for example, her unvaccinated children could infect a child with cancer that isn't able to get the vaccines while fighting cancer. Also, she is a scientist, so we have to assume she based this on some relevant information the rest of us somehow missed? Way to implant doubt without actually providing something to back it up. As it happens, I looked into an entire class about vaccines when I had kids, with a lot of the relevant research and studies provided. It made clear to me the need for vaccinating and vaccinating according to the doctor-specified schedule.
Also, elimination communication sounds totally unnecessary. Potty training is not a huge deal that you need to suffer for years over it.
Finally, we see a little bit of how she viewed her marriage at the time the book was written and it did seem reasonable healthy based on her description, but then they got divorced the same year this book came out. Obviously, a lot of people treat divorce as private, but when you're writing a parenting book/ memoir it does seem especially relevant. Were there other things going on that she didn't share? Or did the marriage end specifically because of differences or problems arising from attachment parenting?
But there were some serious problems with this book. Most notably, she casually mentioned she decided not to vaccinate her children. This is a problem. Unlike most other parenting decisions vaccination is not a decision that affects just you and your family, it's a societal issue because many vaccines work through herd immunity, especially for the immune-compromised children. So for example, her unvaccinated children could infect a child with cancer that isn't able to get the vaccines while fighting cancer. Also, she is a scientist, so we have to assume she based this on some relevant information the rest of us somehow missed? Way to implant doubt without actually providing something to back it up. As it happens, I looked into an entire class about vaccines when I had kids, with a lot of the relevant research and studies provided. It made clear to me the need for vaccinating and vaccinating according to the doctor-specified schedule.
Also, elimination communication sounds totally unnecessary. Potty training is not a huge deal that you need to suffer for years over it.
Finally, we see a little bit of how she viewed her marriage at the time the book was written and it did seem reasonable healthy based on her description, but then they got divorced the same year this book came out. Obviously, a lot of people treat divorce as private, but when you're writing a parenting book/ memoir it does seem especially relevant. Were there other things going on that she didn't share? Or did the marriage end specifically because of differences or problems arising from attachment parenting?
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