And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready

Selected as One of the Best Books of the Year by: National Public Radio, Esquire, Bustle, Refinery29, Thrillist, Electric Literature, Powell's, Autostraddle, BookRiot, Women.com

"Smart, funny, and true in all the best ways, this book made me ache with recognition." -- Cheryl Strayed
A raw, funny, and fiercely honest account of becoming a mother before feeling like a grown up.

When Meaghan O'Connell got accidentally pregnant in her twenties and decided to keep the baby, she realized that the book she needed -- a brutally honest, agenda-free reckoning with the emotional and existential impact of motherhood -- didn't exist. So she decided to write it herself.
And Now We Have Everything is O'Connell's exploration of the cataclysmic, impossible-to-prepare-for experience of becoming a mother. With her dark humor and hair-trigger B.S. detector, O'Connell addresses the pervasive imposter syndrome that comes with unplanned pregnancy, the fantasies of a "natural" birth experience that erode maternal self-esteem, post-partum body and sex issues, and the fascinating strangeness of stepping into a new, not-yet-comfortable identity.

Channeling fears and anxieties that are still taboo and often unspoken, And Now We Have Everything is an unflinchingly frank, funny, and visceral motherhood story for our times, about having a baby and staying, for better or worse, exactly yourself.

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241 pages

Average rating: 9

4 RATINGS

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Anonymous

Apr 29, 2025

10/10 stars

Several chapters of this book felt like I wrote them- they are THAT spot on. It feels like my own thoughts on motherhood, birth, hormones, relationships - that have been stuck in my brain ever since I became a mom - were taken and put on paper. I can relate to so much of this, and it was refreshing to read it and not feel alone. Reading this helped me sort out my own complicated feelings in a way. Iâm so glad I read this, and feel so much solidarity with other moms who were a little blind sighted by the whole experience. But still grateful, and learning every day.

Anonymous

Jul 05, 2024

8/10 stars

This was a book club read, and I might never have read it otherwise. That being said, I was intrigued by the description of the book: a single woman in her 20s becomes pregnant -- unplanned, of course -- and must decide what to do. I figured I could relate, since, about a hundred years ago, at 18, oops, I got pregnant, and hilarity ensued. (Haha, not quite!) Anyway, turns out she was 29, and already engaged to be married. Oh. So, whoopdeedo, what's the big dilemma???
But it turned out to be a great (easy) read. As the subtitle says, she really wasn't ready for this whole motherhood thing, and she didn't even know how not ready she was until she was in the thick of it. But it just highlights how nobody is ready for it really, even when you think you are. By the time she showed up at the maternity ward to have the baby, she'd read every book and blog and article about having a baby and she still wasn't ready for how it all went down. From reading all the info by "perfect" mothers about this magical thing called childbirth and motherhood, it was setting her up for failure, or feeling like a failure.
She takes us all on her "mom" journey for the first year, with some cringeworthy moments and some LOL moments, but all a very honest, "no holds barred" account of how it affected her life, her relationships, her body, her brain, her soul.

Unefemmelit

Jul 25, 2023

8/10 stars

Raw and real. I have to admit, it took me a minute to get into this one. Her story felt so different than my own and it was rough to hear so many negatives… but then I realized how similar our emotions actually were during this time and how many other mothers have shared some of these same thoughts on things like feeling alone, the romance and postpartum sex life (of lack there of), and panicked thoughts that work their way into your mind boosting your new mama anxiety. Absolutely worth the read (or listen, since she narrates the audiobook.)

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